The Picnic Table
by mhl1115
Summary: Slash: Edward is on summer vacation with his family when he experiences an instant attraction to a local surfer.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N--Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and REALLY want them to get together! **

**Well, here it is, my first fic! I drank a bottle of champagne with dinner and am just buzzed and bubbly enough to have the courage to post this. Yes, it's short, sweet, and to the point. I hope you all like it...any feedback would be greatly appreciated!! :)  
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**The Picnic Table**

"Uncle Edward, are you ready?"

"I sure am, Pumpkin!" My niece, Alice, was perched high at the top of the slide, giggling uncontrollably and waiting for me to catch her at the bottom.

My family and I were down here at the shore for our yearly vacation and tonight my brother Emmett, sister-in-law Rosalie, and I decided to take the Alice to the local playground. Granted, it wasn't the coolest place for me to be hanging out, but at least I was out of the house and away from the watchful eyes of my parents. Each summer we were here, they hoped I would find a group of guys my own age that I could hang out with; each year, that didn't happen. Truth be told, they wanted me to find a girl.

I hadn't come out to them (or anyone) yet, so I couldn't really explain that I wasn't interested in what Bella, Jessica, and Angela were doing. They were the local girls and it was obvious they had been around the shore block a time or two. Hell, even if I weren't gay I wouldn't be dipping my foot into that pool.

So that brings me back here, at the bottom of the slide, waiting to catch my angel of a niece and thanking God or whomever that she thought I hung the moon. At three, she was blissfully unaware that it wasn't cool to be a closeted gay 17-year-old hanging out at the playground with his family on a Friday night. Sigh.

"Shut the fuck up and go get your board, jackass! Just meet us up there." The voice startled me out of my mental wallowing. For some reason, I was suddenly filled with the sensation that something was about to happen, something that would change everything.

I caught Alice and twirled her around at the foot of the slide before handing her back to Emmett. I walked over to the edge of the dune and saw four guys, all about my age, walking back up the beach towards the playground...and me.

They all looked the same: tall, fit, tan from being at the beach all summer. They were locals, surfers, and ruggedly gorgeous. Before my mind could even process the pack walking towards me, my cock started to harden and I felt tingly everywhere.

As they got closer to the top of the dune, I got a good look at the guy in back, the one that apparently forgot his board down by the water and who was now running to catch up to his friends. I couldn't move.

I had always heard about instant attraction, but had never experienced it for myself. Instant interest? Sure. Instant desire? Maybe. But the kind of attraction where you take one look at a guy and just HAVE to have him; to possess him both physically and emotionally? Never. I was all about taking things slowly and figuring everything out. Well, at least I thought I was. But right now, as he was walking towards me, all rationalization went out the window. Take-things-slow Edward was gone.

He was just as beautiful as the others, but he had a mop top of blonde curls that were bleached from the sun and the biggest blue eyes I'd ever seen. His wetsuit was half down revealing a sculpted chest and a happy trail that I so desperately wanted to follow. Is it too ridiculous to describe him as an Adonis? Because really, that's just what he was. He must have caught me watching him because when he we locked eyes, he winked and chuckled.

_Well, fuck me. _

"Hey Edward, we're walking back. You ready?" Emmett's always obnoxiously loud voice brought me back to reality. I looked back to him, and then to the pack in front of me. They were walking toward the lifeguard barracks, presumably to get changed before going out for the night. Three of them passed me without so much as a mumbled hello, but the blonde slowed his pace in front of me and whispered, "Edward, huh?"

My breath caught when he said my name. It was almost like hearing it for the first time. Quickly, I remembered who I was, where I was, and answered, "Nah, man. I think I'm going to hang here for a bit."

The blonde stopped walking and alerted the rest of his pack, "I'll catch up with you guys later. There's something that I need to take care of." He turned to me and nodded his head to the side, motioning for me to follow him to the picnic table. I had no idea where this was heading, but at that moment I found myself grateful that the sun had just about set and the row of tables was under a covered pavilion. Better safe than sorry, yes?

He hopped up on the edge of the table and sat swinging his legs underneath him, like he was inviting me to come closer. Although I wanted to fly over there and touch every inch of him, I played it cool and just followed him to the point where I standing facing him, almost between his legs.

My dick was throbbing by now, encouraging me to pounce. As I pictured myself leaping onto the table, he spoke again and it was like honey off dripping off his tongue.

_God, I want to taste him._

"I haven't seen you around before. Are you here on vacation with your family?"

_Really? He wanted to chitchat? Now??_

"Yep, got in a few days ago," I replied.

"Hmmm…" he purred. With that, chitchat was over. He took his legs, wrapped them around my waist and pulled me to him. I was face-to-face with him when he whispered, "I would have remembered you if I had seen you before." I reached out slowly to touch his curls, gauging whether or not this was something he wanted me to do. God, I hoped he wanted this as much as I did. His deep blue eyes were filled with lust as he smiled, licked his lips, and touched me the same way. Only now, he fisted my locks and pulled my lips to his.

_I swear I almost came right then. _

His tongue gained entrance to my mouth quickly and it was all I could do to keep my composure. Our mouths were exploring each other gently at first, but then with a sense of mounting urgency. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.

When our dicks grazed each other, and the electricity was enough to force me to grab the edge of the table for balance. I pulled away from his kiss and he moaned and leaned back as I slowly licked my way down his neck, his collarbone, his chest.

With a lust-filled growl, he sat back up, inched his way to the edge of the table and kissed me again. It was hard and intense. As our tongues darted in and out of each other, he ghosted his hand to the front of my shorts and over my erection. "Don't stop," I breathed into his ear. "Fuck, don't stop." I could feel him smirk as he kissed me.

His hands were fumbling with the button on my shorts but he was finally able to get them undone. With one gentle push, he slid my shorts and boxers down to my ankles. He scooted off the table and turned me around so I was leaning against it. He ran his hand up under my t-shirt and back down my chest. Smiling, he got down on his knees, grabbed both of my thighs, and pulled me toward him.

His tongue found the tip of my dick and he licked the drops of pre-cum that he found there. "So good," he mumbled as he licked his lips and then took all of me into his mouth.

"Fuck!" This was the most amazing sensation I had ever felt. I wanted so badly to watch him as he sucked me, but I gave into the sensation and closed my eyes. It's true what they say: when you take away one of your senses, the others become more sensitive. The feel of his hands ghosting between my legs and his mouth wrapped around me coupled with the sucking sound his lips were making was enough to send me into oblivion right then. My breathing quickened and I fisted my hands tightly into his curls as I felt his mouth become a vacuum around my dick.

"Please...just like that...fuck, I'm so close!" He grabbed my ass with both hands and pulled me closer to him. His teeth lightly graze my shaft as he moved from base to tip. He moved his right hand to gently tug on my balls and let out a soft moan that vibrated through me. I couldn't hold on any longer. I went completely over the edge and had the most fucktacular, mind-blowing orgasm of my life.

After he had taken everything I had to give, he stood up, smiled, and kissed me passionately. I tasted myself in the kiss and grabbed hold of him, not wanting to let go. Finally, he broke away from me, both of us still panting. He pulled up my shorts, buttoned me back up, and leaned for what I thought was another feel-it-in-your-toes kiss. Instead, he nuzzled into my hair and breathed into my ear.

"It's nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Jasper."

And with that, he turned, winked at me again, and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**OMG...I am so amazed by the response you all had to my baby fic! It was only supposed to be a one-shot, but after all the glorious reviews and words of encouragement, I decided to continue it and see where it could go. **

**Thanks so much to all of you who convinced me to do this, including my soul-sister Rhenea, who lets me bounce all my crazy ideas off her. Lots of love goes out to Michelle for pre-reading for me and always holding my hand, and my brilliant beta, Christie, who graciously agreed to help me make these boys the sweetest, sexiest couple at the beach! **

**A/N--Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)  
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My eyes suddenly popped open.

_Holy fuck! I let a stranger blow me in the middle of a public playground! Fuck, fuck, fuck! _

I laughed out loud as I rolled over in bed and stared out the window. The sun was already up and I had barely slept. I tossed and turned throughout the night and kept replaying what had happened in my mind.

Jasper. His name was Jasper. I hadn't even known his name, and yet he sucked me until I had the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life right there on 85h Street.

Every time I closed my eyes during the night, I saw him; his smile when he winked at me, the lust in his eyes, the way he looked when he took me in his mouth, how his body moved when he walked away. I swear could still taste his kiss and the saltwater on his body when I licked up and down his neck.

I threw one leg out from under the down comforter and tried to get comfortable, but the more I thought about Jasper and what had happened, the harder I became. This would definitely have to be taken care of. With a huff, I threw off the remainder of the blanket, got out of bed, and walked to the bathroom. Once there, I slid off my boxers and brushed my teeth, in a feeble attempt to wake up and feel more human.

When the bathroom was sufficiently filled with steam from the shower and my mouth was minty fresh, I stepped in and let the hot water fall all over me. My morning routine of jacking off in the shower was quick and perfunctory; mostly get in, get off, get out. But not today, today I felt different. I was thinking about Jasper, and wanted to take my time and savor the memories of being with him last night.

After washing my hair thoroughly, I let my hands run slowly down my chest, covering me in thick lather. I closed my eyes and wondered what he was doing now. Was he thinking about me? Did he go home last night and make himself come while crying out my name?

_God, I hope so._

I thought of Jasper's lips nibbling on my ear as my hand stopped at my nipple and felt it instantly harden. I licked my lips and let out the breath that I had been holding as my hand found my other nipple, teased it, and then continued its slow journey down my chest, my abdomen, and finally to the base of my now throbbing erection.

My mind flashed to Jasper's eyes as he looked up at me and teased the tip of my cock with his tongue, and I let my fingers gently circle the same spot where he first tasted me. A soft moan escaped my lips when I fully wrapped my soapy hand around my length and began to pump from base to tip, slowly at first and then with a sense of urgency. I needed to come; I wanted him to make me come. My pace quickened and my breathing became erratic as I recalled the sucking sound Jasper made when he had all of me in his mouth. I reached out and pushed against the shower wall to steady myself as my body teetered the edge of oblivion. Even though my eyes were tightly shut, I could see with such clarity the way his eyes were filled with lust as he moved back up my body and kissed me hard. That was all I needed. "Fuck! Jasper!" I breathlessly cried as my hand pumped one last time and the powerful orgasm rocked me causing me to come hard into my hand.

As the hot water beat down on back and my body returned to normal, I realized that what happened last night changed everything.

****************

When I decided to come out of my room and join the rest of the world, my house was abuzz with activity. Mom and Rosalie were preparing to head out for a day of shopping and packing the bags filled with Alice's toddler paraphernalia, Alice was on the couch, stuffed giraffe in hand, watching The Backyardigans.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" Mom was so cheery in the morning. She reached up and gave me a quick peck on the cheek as I made my way to the fridge for some juice. For as much as I wanted to be annoyed at her overly happy demeanor this early, Mom could always make me smile. She was just that adorable.

"Oh, Edward, I forgot to tell you," she began, piquing my interest in spite of myself. "I passed Charlie and Bella this morning when I was talking my walk."

Oh, here we go. Mom had been trying to fix me up with Bella since I started high school. I think she hoped that we would meet on the beach and fall madly in love; be high school sweethearts like she and Dad were. Little did she know that not only wasn't it Bella I was interested in, it wasn't even a girl.

"I just don't know what has gotten into her," Mom continued without missing a beat "She looked terrible, like either she hadn't slept in days or she was still high from the night before. Oh, and the hair! Don't get me started on the hair!" She then turned to Rosalie, who nodded in agreement and chuckled. Once Mom got started, she was hard to stop. I had to laugh as well…you gotta love Esme Cullen. "I mean, really, it looks like she is trying to be some eighties rock queen, but is missing the mark entirely! The poor thing could use a spa day and a total makeover."

I had just finished my juice and curled up on the couch with Alice when I noticed Dad and Emmett were getting ready to walk to the Pier for breakfast. Since I was absolutely starving and didn't need anymore time alone with my thoughts, I decided to join them. There was nothing like a mammoth-sized mug of coffee and some eggs to bring things into perspective.

The Pier was a great little restaurant on a marina that was in walking distance from our house. It was open early and totally casual, so, on mornings like this one when I was barely functioning, it was perfectly acceptable to roll out of bed and into a table. It was part of our Cullen family routine for us to have breakfast here, so the staff knew us well. The hostess greeted us by name and seated us in at one of the long outside tables. Even though she wasn't our waitress, I asked her for the biggest mug of coffee she could bring me.

I was staring out from under my favorite Phillies cap watching the boats sail past in the bay, when Emmett interrupted my peaceful moment. "You look like hell, man. What happened to you last night?"

Dad raised an eyebrow, smirked, and waited for my answer. I started to panic. Was "I got the best blowjob of my life from a total stranger in a public playground" plastered on my forehead?

_Think, Cullen, think._

"Not much. I just decided to go for a walk and got back later than I thought."

_Yep, that sounded good. Run with it._

"Oh, and it looks like Whitlock has four more houses going up in the area. I walked through one last night. Amazing! You guys really need to check it out." Whitlock Contractors were the biggest builders on the island. New houses were going up all the time, and they were the brains and muscle behind most of them. In fact, they recently rebuilt our house as well, although I was too busy with school to ever actually meet with Mr. Whitlock himself.

That was just enough to get Dad and Emmett engrossed in a conversation about when they would walk through all the new houses themselves, and I could go back to being alone with my thoughts. My thoughts of last night, of Jasper, and of the way my cock felt in his mouth.

_God I wanted to feel that again. _

I was so fixated on my memories that I didn't even notice that the waitress was at our table, ready to take our orders. "What can I get for you, hon?"

I had decided on my usual--two eggs over medium, bacon, and rye toast--and was about to answer her when I lifted my head and almost choked on my coffee. She was looking at me with the most beautiful tidal-blue eyes. They were his eyes…Jasper's eyes.

She was warm and friendly and looking at me expectantly, with her notepad in hand. I stumbled out my order and she chuckled as she took it down and walked away from our table. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

I watched her as she moved around the small restaurant, taking care of her tables and laughing with the locals that she seemed to know well. She maneuvered through the row of tables with a certain grace, and it was then that I realized that she and Jasper moved in the same way; they had the same walk, the same presence that made it impossible to take my eyes off of them. My mind was spinning a mile a minute. She looked to be about Mom's age, maybe a bit older. I gasped when the idea struck me: Could this waitress be Jasper's mother?

****************

That evening, after a full day of family bonding, I decided that I needed to escape. My thoughts had been muddied all day and I needed to clear my head and think of a plan. I wanted to see him, feel him, and taste him. But first, I had to find him.

I grabbed a copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird_, my favorite book that I was currently rereading for the hundredth time, and left the house. I thought I would head to the playground, sit at our picnic table, and maybe, just maybe, he would show up.

He didn't.

I repeated this routine each night for the next three nights. I went to the table, read my book, and waited for him. He never came back. I was beginning to think that he might not have been real, that he somehow didn't exist. Was Jasper just a figment of my overactive imagination?

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Saturday morning, we all headed down to the beach for some much-needed relaxation. My three failed attempts at finding Jasper were weighing on me, so I decided that today I would frolic with my niece, work on my non-existent tan, and just BE.

It was an idyllic beach day; not a cloud in the sky, a gentle breeze in the air, and rolling waves that would make swimming perfect. Dad was lost in his book, Mom was gossiping with other moms that she has known ever since we started coming here, and Rosalie and Alice were attempting to bury Emmett in the sand. Life was good.

I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it onto my chair, grabbed my book and iPod from the beach bag, and sank down onto my stomach on the blanket. This was just what I needed. I had to put the memory of Jasper out of my mind because spending my days wondering about him wasn't doing me any good. Plus, I think my family was starting to wonder what was going on with my constant brooding attitude.

The sun was beating down on my back, and I let out a deep cleansing sigh as I turned my iPod on. **_Closer_** from Kings of Leon was now thumping in my ears and helping me tune out the world.

**_Your shimi shook my bones, leaving me stranded all in love on my own.  
Do you think of me? Where am I now, baby, where do I sleep?_**

OK…this wasn't helping. The last thing I needed was to lie here drowning in my thoughts of Jasper and listening to a song that was nothing short of pure musical sex. So, before my hardening dick became an actual problem that I had to deal with right away, I decided to steal Alice away from her parents and head for the water. There was nothing like chasing a toddler around that could put things into perspective. Uncle Edward was happy, goofy, and fun, and I really needed to be him right now.

Alice giggled the whole way down to the water's edge as I chased her. She stopped every now and then to pick up a shell, admire it, and then hand it to me. But then she was off and running again, and finally jumped and landed with a sploosh in the ocean water up to her knees. I caught up to her, grabbed her little hands in mine and helped her jump the waves as they rolled in. As we laughed together, I couldn't help but think that this was heavenly and exactly where I was supposed to be.

"Hey, Edward!"

I plucked Alice out of the water when I heard my name, putting her on my hip. I turned around and saw one of Jasper's friends walking towards me. He was taller than I was, probably about six-four if I had to guess, had a lean swimmer's body and dark, chin-length brown hair. In short, he was beautiful…but not Jasper. "You're Edward, right? You're Jasper's boy?"

_Jasper's boy? God, yes, I wanted to be Jasper's ANYTHING._

"Yeah, I'm Edward," I said, trying to be calm. "Sorry, man, do I know you?"

"Well, now ya do," he laughed warmly. "I'm Seth, Jasper's best bud around here. He sent me to find you." My heart almost leapt out of my chest when I heard this. Jasper wanted to find me. The other night wasn't a dream.

Seth smiled at me and tousled Alice's hair as she giggled playfully at him. "Poor guy's been stuck working on a job for his dad the last couple days and he hasn't been able to get away. But, he wanted me to find you and ask you to meet him tonight after he gets home, at about 8:00, at 'your spot.' Dude, I have no idea where that is, but hopefully you do," he laughed.

_Play it cool, Edward._

"Yeah, I got it. Thanks, man!" Seth said a quick goodbye and trotted off down the beach leaving Alice and I alone at the shoreline. She started wiggling, wanted to get down and resume jumping the waves. I set her down and took hold of her hands, but I couldn't concentrate. Jasper sent his best friend to find me; he wanted to see me again.

Could he really want me as much as I wanted him?


	3. Chapter 3

**Lots of love goes out to Michelle for pre-reading for me and always holding my hand, and my brilliant beta, Christie, who graciously agreed to help me make these boys the sweetest, sexiest couple at the beach! **

**A/N--Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)**

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"Are my sideburns uneven?" I questioned my reflection as I leaned into the mirror, squinting to get a better look.

_I came in his mouth and he swallowed! I'd say we're WAY past sideburn symmetry at this point. _

It was 7:45 on Saturday night, 15 minutes until I was going to meet Jasper, and I was staring in the bathroom mirror obsessing. In addition to my current sideburn disaster, my hair was just hideous; it just never seemed to do anything. No matter how much gel or mousse I tried, I always looked like I just got out of bed…or just had sex. I ran my hand through my bronze locks and smirked. There are worse things than the freshly fucked look, I suppose.

Speaking of my "look," I had decided on my Stolichnaya t-shirt and a pair of dark, ripped jeans that hugged all the right places. I wanted to be comfortable and look like I didn't spend all afternoon planning my outfit, which, sadly, I had. I slid my feet into a pair of black flip-flops and headed out of my room. Thankfully, my family had decided to go out for dinner and then take Alice to the rides uptown. Ordinarily, I would have loved to go along, but not tonight. Since my talk with Seth on the beach today, my world felt like it was shifting, and tonight I was determined to figure out if that was indeed the case and, if it was, what it all means.

Although it was probably quicker to take the street, I walked along the beach to get to the playground. The sound of the waves would drown out the thumping of my heart and the pulse in my ears. I needed to be calm and find a place of Zen before I completely freaked out.

What if Jasper didn't want me? What if he wanted me, but not a commitment? What if he did want a commitment with me, but then would take one look at me and change his mind? Was I hyperventilating?

_Come on, Cullen. Relax. Breathe in…breathe out. Ohm…ohm…_

Once I gathered my composure, I slowly walked up the dune and approached the fence at the playground's entrance. Jasper was there, sitting on top of our table.

He must have thought I would come from the street, because he was facing away from me. I took a moment to really look at him. He was wearing a white t-shirt that fit his back and arms nicely. He wasn't overly muscular, but rather tall and lean, with just the right amount of tone. In short, he was perfect. His shirt was un-tucked and half covering a pair of khaki cargo shorts, and he was barefoot. God, that's sexy. I looked around and noticed a pair of brown worn-in flip-flops in the sand and figured that he left him there when he walked in.

While I couldn't wait to go over to him, part of me wanted to just stand here and revel in him, that this gorgeous boy wanted me. But, no time like the present.

"So, you found me."

He jumped when I spoke, obviously startled and turned to face me. "Man, you scared me!" He ran his fingers through his hair nervously (just like I do) and then laughed. "Yeah, I guess I, or rather Seth, did."

"I was hoping you would."

It was amazing. For as nervous as I was getting dressed and walking over here, all my anxiety was gone when I saw him. Part of me felt like I was coming home from a long journey, home to the one person who understood me. It's funny how that happens. One day, you are living your life as you always have, and the next you do something completely random like take your niece to a playground and you meet someone who was meant for only you. Fate's an amazing thing.

Instead of walking right over to him, I made my way to the swings, settled into the center one, and began dragging my feet in the sand. Jasper looked surprised by this, but then smiled, got up, and joined me. "I couldn't stop thinking about you," he admitted, looking down at his toes digging in the sand, and then back up at me.

_How cute is he??_

"Me either. In fact, I came back here to find you, but you never showed up. I was beginning to think you weren't real, that you didn't exist." OK, I can't believe I just admitted to basically being a stalker. I expected him to bolt from the swing and not look back, but instead, he smiled and laughed warmly.

"I actually thought about doing the same thing, but my dad is doing a job that has be done ASAP, so I've been stuck. I've been wondering about you, though."

"Oh? What have you been wondering?" I asked, playfully. As long as we are being honest, might as well have some fun while putting our cards on the table.

Jasper started pumping his legs, making his swing slowly move and go higher in the air. He was like a little kid, and I loved it. "Well, what happened the other night; do you, um…"

"Do I do that sort of thing often?" I laughed at his question and began matching his movements on my own swing. "Um, no, that was definitely a first for me. You?"

"Nope. I've never felt that way before. Ever."

He was feeling the same way I was! I never would have thought that to be possible! I slowed my swing, got up, and walked over to the table. I sat on the bench facing him, my legs dangling on either side. "So, now what?"

"I have no idea, man." He jumped off his swing and came over to the bench and sat facing me, his legs also dangling over the sides. "You took me by surprise, ya know? I was overwhelmed by the instant attraction I felt for you, but after we were together, I just assumed I would be able to walk away with an amazing memory. But, like I said before, I couldn't get you out of my mind. That's why I sent Seth to find you. No other guy has made me feel this way. "

As I sat there melting at his words, I was intrigued and a little worried by his last statement. _No other guy._ Was he gay? Was I his first?

"Jas, I just have to ask. Are you gay, or was this just a crazy experiment for you?"

He chuckled and ran his hand nervously through his hair. "I'm gay. I came out about a year ago. Just felt like the right thing to do. How about you?"

I let out a sigh and pondered his question. I hate being asked this. Yes, I'm gay, but the only person I had ever admitted that to was Eric. I'm just not ready to make that part of my life public yet. I'm obviously not as free as he is, and what if that causes problems? I can't mess this one up. "Yes, I'm gay, but I'm not out yet. Just not ready." I looked down at the bench, embarrassed by my admission.

Jasper then reached over, touched my chin, and lifted my head up so I was looking him in the eyes. "It's cool. Promise."

I reached over and touched his arm as he withdrew his hand and smiled brilliantly at me.

"So," he continued, "Have you ever been with a girl?" He asked me tentatively, but with a slight smirk, like he had somehow already known the answer.

"Been with how?" I shot back, trying to make him say exactly what was on his mind.

"You know. BEEN with…kissed, touched, fucked. I know you get the idea, smart guy."

"Hmmm…kissed? Yes. Touched? Yes. Fucked? Never."

He chuckled knowingly, and scooted a bit closer to me, his legs still straddling the bench. His voice quieted a little and became more seductive when he asked, "Did you like it?"

_Is he serious? He's not trying to seduce me by talking about girls, is he?_

Bewildered, I decided to be honest and see where he was going. "Umm, it was OK, but it was missing that thing."

"What thing?" He slid a bit closer, and I felt one of this fingers ghost its way across my thigh. My breath caught.

"You know, _that_ thing. When you look at the person in front of you, and everything in your head suddenly becomes fuzzy." I realized my breathing was become slower and deeper with each word.

"All your surroundings just melt away, and you are only able to focus on that impending kiss; what their lips will taste like; how it will feel to have their hand behind your neck, pulling you closer and deeper; the look of lust in their eyes, knowing you put it there. _THAT_ thing. "

As I spoke, Jasper was sliding closer to me. I wasn't sure at first, but then I realized that he was leaning in like he wanted, no needed, to kiss me. When he was right about an inch away from face, he looked up with lust in his eyes. He had me and I felt like I couldn't breathe without him. His hand slowly came up, touched the side of my face, and moved to the base of my neck. He pulled me in and we were nose-to-nose. And then he did it; he licked my bottom lip, tasting me. "Oh, you mean _that_ thing," he purred. Then he kissed me.

At that moment, I wanted to kiss him, fuck him, love him, tell him all my secrets and have him tell me all of his. My world had become, well, fuzzy.

**********

We stayed connected like that for minutes, hours, possibly days? I have no idea; I am oblivious to time when I am with Jasper. Kissing him felt so right, like he was the one I was just meant to be with, as cliché as that might sound. Our tongues softly moved in and out of each other, not like the first time, which was full of lust and need. This kiss was different; it was soft and gentle, yet so filled with passion that I couldn't think straight. As I kissed him, my hands made their way to his hair, running my fingers through each soft curl. It amazed me that for someone who spent so much time in the salt water, his hair was amazingly soft.

My tongue wanted to deepen the kiss, so I moved my hands down to the back of his neck and pulled him closer to me. He moaned into the kiss and the sound reverberated through my whole body, making me want him even more. He must have known that I was craving skin-on-skin contact, because he moved his hands around to my back and then under my t-shirt. I broke our kiss just long enough to whimper his name as his hands moved from my back around to my abdomen.

My erection was already straining my jeans, but when his left hand made its way up to my nipple and rolled over it, it was all I could do not to rip off his clothes and suck him off right then. I wanted to make us both come. I wanted to do to him what he had done to me, to really give him something to dream about. But, apparently, Jasper had other ideas.

He broke our kiss, panting, and looked me deep in the eyes. "Not here, not tonight."

_What. The. Fuck?????_

"Jas, what are you talking about? Come on, Baby, let me return the favor."

I inched closer and began to ghost my hand across his shorts, moaning as I brushed across his dick. He stopped my hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed it. "I should probably go. Let me walk you home." And with that, he stood up and walked over to get his flip-flops. I just sat there, a look of complete bewilderment on my face. Was he serious??

He offered me his hand as I got up, in no real condition to walk anywhere with my erection screaming at me. But, I took his hand anyway, and suggested a walk on the beach.

We walked silently for a while, but then my curiosity got the better of me and I just had to ask. Turnabout is fair play, right? "So, what about you? Have you ever been with a girl? You know…kissed…touched…fucked?"

He laughed out loud and swung my hand playfully. "All of the above."

_Oh, really??_

"Uh-huh. And?"

"And what? I was with a girl, Lauren, who I grew up with around here. You'll meet her, I'm sure. Anyway, we were together for a few months, but it just always felt off, like something wasn't right. Kind of like a square peg/round hole kind of a thing."

I nodded and understood, as I felt that way about the girls I had been with. "So, what happened? What changed your mind?"

"A guy named Tyler. He worked at the Pier the same summer I did. One night we were closing together and, well, one thing led to another." He had the most devilish grin on his face as he continued the story. "And I fucked him against the back wall of the dining room." He burst out laughing at my obviously surprised expression.

_Thank God my cock is completely hard again. _

"Holy shit! Really?"

He was still chuckling, probably at my shock and awe. "Yep. That's when I had my big epiphany. Fucking a guy, felt, well, right." He grabbed both of my hands and spun us around so he was walking backwards facing me. He was the most adorable, sexy thing I'd ever seen. "Anyway, apparently he didn't have the same life-altering experience as I had, because he quit a week later and I haven't seen him since." He shrugged his shoulders, then leaned in for a quick peck on my lips.

We continued walking and talking, but I just couldn't his story out of my mind. I just had to wonder: How do you fuck Jasper and then let him go? I know I never could.

**********

Hands still clasped, I led Jasper up the dunes by my house. "Which one is yours?" he asked, pointing to the cluster of beach front/beach block homes before us.

"The gray one with the double back decks. The one straight through the brush." I put my arm around him and leaned him a bit to the left so he could see exactly where I was pointing. Truth be told, it was a great excuse to pull him a bit closer to me.

"No way! I helped build your house with my dad! It was the first job that I helped out on." Jasper was practically jumping up and down with excitement, and all I could do was stare at him.

"Wait. You're Jasper Whitlock, of Whitlock Builders?" I couldn't believe it. How is it possible that this guy, MY guy, just happened to be the son of the man who built our house? This couldn't be a coincidence, could it?

"Yep, that's me. My dad, Phil, owns the company and I work there doing construction and anything else he needs done. It's a pretty cool gig, keeps me busy all year round."

We kept chatting until we got to my door. He told me more about his job and confirmed my thoughts from the other morning; that his mom, Renee, did, in fact, work as a waitress at the Pier when she wasn't busy with the family business. I was too enthralled by his story that I didn't want to get into mine just yet. That could be saved for another time.

When we reached the stairs, we stopped, and he took both my hands again. He smiled again, and pulled me in for another kiss. It was sweet, almost chaste, but just a little bit of contact was enough to make me crave more. As my tongue moved gently into his mouth and his explored mine, I was overcome with the feeling of wanting to take him upstairs to my room. However, like earlier, he broke our kiss before it could go too far.

He was holding me around my waist, like he didn't want to let me go either. I really didn't want him to. "Tonight was amazing," he whispered. "I can't wait to see you again. You free tomorrow?"

Even though he broke our kiss, I pulled him close to me again and whispered in his ear, "I'm yours, whenever you want me." I nibbled his ear and felt him shiver. As I started to lean back and away from him, I ran my tongue slowly down his jaw line and placed another soft kiss on his lips.

Then it was my turn to pull away.

He sighed from the loss of contact. "Whenever, huh?" he smirked. "Well, I'm on a job tomorrow, but maybe you can come by around 12:30? I break for lunch then."

"Sure, just tell me where and I'm there."

"The house is at 80th and the bay. You'll see the trucks out front. Just come in." He pulled away, letting my hands fall out of his. "Sweet dreams, Baby. Can't wait till tomorrow."

For the second time, I watched him walk away from me. But this time, I was filled with hope and excitement for tomorrow. I turned toward the door, and bounded up the stairs two at a time. The sooner I got to sleep, the sooner I could see Jasper again.

_Tomorrow._

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**A/N#2--Hey there! I just wanted to thank all of you who have been reviewing. I love hearing your feedback and I promise I'm reading all of your reviews and doing my very best to reply to each of you. :)** **XOXO!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Oh my goodness, I can't believe that my little fic has reached over 100 reviews. That is just crazy! ****Thank you all so much for your amazing comments and words of encouragement. As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie and Michelle. They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! **

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)**

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It was 9:00 am on Sunday and I sprang from my bed like it was Christmas morning. I'd officially been here for a week, and now everything in my life seemed different, altered for the better. And it was all because of him. I felt energized, happy, and, yes, tingly, all the time now; in short, I was LIVING, not just existing.

After a quick shower/wank, I skipped (yes, skipped) out of my room ready to join my family. They, however, must have had other plans; the house was empty. "Hello?" I called out. Nothing.

I went to the fridge, got some juice, and was about to flop down on the sofa for some trashy summer TV when I saw my mom on the back deck, stretched out in a lounge chair with a book. She looked so peaceful. I had the sudden desire to run out there and give her a hug. That's right, I'm a total momma's boy. There, I said it. Instead, I grabbed my own book and walked out there to join her. "Hey Mom! Is this seat taken?"

"Hey you! No, please sit with me." I pulled up another lounge chair, sat my juice on the table, and got out my book. We sat there in silence just reading for a bit. After awhile, I could feel her staring at me, and had to smirk at how just blatantly obvious she was.

"Yes?" I turned my head to meet her expectant stare. "Do you have something to say, Mom?"

"You seem happier, Edward; almost peaceful. What's going on?"

She caught me. I swear she knows every emotion I have, almost before I have them. "I made some friends the other day and it's pretty cool. I'm hanging out with one later, around noon."

Mom was beaming. She always wanted me to find a group to bond with down here. "That's so great! What are they like?"

"I don't know, they're just guys, Mom." Ugh, that really might be the understatement of the year. Jasper may be many things, but "just a guy" wasn't one of them. He was THE guy; I could feel it with all my heart and soul. As we sat on our chairs soaking up the morning sun, Mom and I continued chatting with ease. However, I found my thoughts drifting to Jasper and where things were heading.

I was falling hard for him and it was both scary and exhilarating all at the same time. I hadn't had a lot of experience with love, in fact, the word "none" would quantify it nicely. I longed to give myself to someone heart and soul, to fully belong to someone and have them belong to me, but the same time, it felt like I was jumping off a cliff with no idea what awaited me at the bottom. I didn't know how to be completely vulnerable to another human being, and yet, in these last few days with Jasper, I was learning. I was letting go of the wall that I had spent years building up. Although I was basically a normal kid, there was so much of myself that I wasn't ready for the world to see, but Jasper was getting a front-row seat.

**********

At about 12:15, I gave myself another quick check in the mirror and headed out. I had no idea what today would bring, but I was filled with unbridled excitement.

My first stop was the corner store/deli, where I picked up two subs (roast beef and turkey), two bags of chips, and a couple bottles of sweet tea. As I walked the five or so blocks to the construction site, I had to wonder if anyone else noticed that there was a certain swing in my step today. I had to giggle for a moment at what a girl I was becoming…and that I had never been happier.

I turned down 80th Street and saw the site at the end of the block. The house was massive and took up at least two lots, maybe three. The first two stories were already framed and it looked like the third floor was in progress. When I reached the house, it was quieter than I thought it would be. There were only a few workers milling around now. My guess was that, since it was lunchtime, most of the men were either heading home for a quick break or were going out somewhere close.

When I saw Jasper, I stopped dead in my tracks and almost dropped the bags I was carrying. He was walking on the edge of the third floor working on the frame. He had on camouflage shorts that came just about to his knees and a pair of work boots. Oh, and he was shirtless. He turned to the side and I saw a white t-shirt hanging out of his back pocket. I was hard in an instant.

_Well, fuck me. _

He must have seen me as I started to make my way up the makeshift pathway, because I heard him call out. "Hey man, you made it!" Jasper was smiling down at me and it was the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. "Hang on, I'm coming down."

I saw an empty table on what would become the front lawn and sat down on top of it to wait for him. I got out the sandwiches, opened a bottle of sweet tea, and took a long, cool swig of the refreshing beverage. Jasper came walking over to me, saying a quick goodbye to a couple of the other guys before he reached me. "I'm so happy you're here! Today has been crazy long. It's nice to have a distraction."

"Any time!" _Every time._ "The house is amazing! You guys are really doing a great job."

"Thanks! It's a long project, but it's coming along. Dad hopes to have it done this fall. Speak of the Devil." Jasper pointed to a man I assume was his dad walking towards us. He was blonde and tan like Jasper, but he had an all-business look about him. For some reason, I got nervous. "Dad, this is my friend Edward. Edward, this is my dad."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Whitlock, I'm Edward Cullen." I offered him my hand to shake and he accepted it warmly.

"Edward, are you Carlisle's son? How is he? How's the team look this year for training camp? I've got a good feeling about them." Jasper raised an eyebrow at his father's questions. I hadn't told him about my family yet, or about my dad's connections to the Eagles.

"He's doing great, thanks. I think the team looks good this year, but we'll have to see." After some more small talk about my family and the job at hand, he said goodbye and left us alone to finish our lunch.

"So, Cullen, some things you forgot to mention?" Jasper was staring at me with a smirk on his face. I wanted to lick him. "I don't know, maybe start with who your dad is and how he's connected to football and the Eagles?"

"Fine, fine." I rolled my eyes and figured I might as well get this whole thing over with. "My dad is a orthopedic surgeon at Rothman and is one of the head trainers for the Eagles. He's at all the camps and is on the sidelines for the games, just in case disaster strikes. Usually either my brother Emmett or I go with him. That's it, happy now?"

"Sweet! That must be fun. Mmm…all those men in tight pants! I'd have a hard time not patting the players' asses when they came off the field. Hey, is that your phone?" He motioned toward my Blackberry and reached over me to pick it up. He hopped up off the table, aimed the back of the phone to his face, puckered up, and took a picture. He sat back on the table and began typing. "Here, now you have my number. We can talk whenever we want now."

"Good idea! Give me yours." I took his phone, took a horrifying self-portrait of myself and my out-of-control hair, and plugged my number in. "You'd better use this number often…any time, day or night."

"Promise. Now come on, you want the grand tour or what?" With that, we got down off the table, threw our trash away, and headed for the inside of the house. It was going to be phenomenal when it was done and it made me wonder for a brief instant what kind of people would live here when it was finished.

Jasper took me through all three floors and back down again, stealing glances and swift touches as he led me from room to room. As we made our way to the front yard again, I wasn't ready for our time to end yet, so I suggested continuing the tour around the yard. We walked around to the back of the house and I noticed a small room with a doorway covered by a bright blue tarp. I looked around to see if there were any other workers in the vicinity; there weren't. "What's that?" I asked Jasper, pointing to the room with a devilish smirk on my face.

"The outdoor shower. It's not really finished yet. Why?"

"Oh, really?" I took his hand and quickly led him into to the shower. Once we were inside, I pulled back the tarp, hiding us from the outside world. I walked Jasper backwards until he was against the far wall and put my hands on the wall on either side of his face. I just couldn't wait anything longer; I leaned in and kissed him passionately. He moaned into my kiss and let out a low growl when I forced his legs apart and thrust my entire body against his. Our throbbing dicks touched and sent an electrical current through both of us, making our breathing speed up.

I broke our kiss and hovered an inch away from him, so we were nose-to-nose. "How quiet can you be?" I whispered seductively, as I began running my right hand along the side of his bare abdomen.

"Quiet as a mouse?"

"Good. Just relax, Baby." I leaned in and kissed him again. He fisted my hair to bring me closer and deeper. I pulled back and started licking my way down his jaw line, to his collar bone, and then slowly down his chest.

Jasper's hands were making their way down my back, but then he stopped and pulled me back up to face him. "Baby, we can't."

I gave him a quick lick, and then put my forefinger in front of his lips. "Shhhhh…."

All Jasper could do was whimper.

After another quick kiss, I made my way back down his body. I love his chest and could spend hours just running my tongue over all of him and showering his muscles with butterfly kisses, but that was for another time. Right now, all I wanted was to drink him in. When my eager tongue found its way down to the waistline of his shorts and I was on my knees, he fisted my hair and let out a loud moan. In one swift motion, I reached around to his ass, grabbed his shirt out of his pocket and tossed it up to him. I wanted to make him cry out my name, but he'd need something to muffle the sound. Jasper caught the shirt and chuckled.

I ran my nose up the silhouette of his erection and felt his body shiver. Quickly, I unbuttoned his shorts and pushed them and his boxers down to his ankles. He had the most perfect cock I had ever seen; he looked so delectable and my breathing sped up with anticipation. "Baby, I can't wait to taste you."

I started slowly pumping his dick and let my tongue swirl around the head, tasting the pre-cum that I was longing for; it was the perfect appetizer. Jasper fisted my hair and pushed my head down further. "Fuck! Yeah, suck all of me, please," he begged in a low whimper.

I couldn't deny him anything. With that, I pumped him from base to tip and then took all of him in my mouth and deep down my throat. As my lips met his base and my tongue swirled once around, his legs began to quiver and I grabbed his ass to steady him. I heard a stifled groan and looked up to see Jasper panting, eyes closed, with his t-shirt in his mouth.

I had to smile as my lips continued sucking up and down his dick. As I increased my suction and pace, he grabbed a tighter grip on my hair and his hips started bucking towards me in perfect sync with the movements of my mouth. The most gorgeous guy I had ever seen was fucking my mouth; there's nothing better than that. He was going over the edge, and I was taking him there. I wanted to come with him, but this was not about getting myself off; it was about taking care of him.

A muffled "Fuck!" resonated from above me and I knew Jasper was close. His thrusts became deeper and more erratic. When I felt he was right at the edge of his orgasm, I grabbed his ass to stop his hips, took all of him down my throat, and created a tight suction. That was all he needed. He exploded in my mouth and I sucked him all down, swallowing around him and sliding my lips from base to tip, in a slow and languid motion.

_Fucking delicious._

Once I had swallowed all Jasper had to give me, I licked him clean and buttoned him back up. He spit out the shirt in his mouth and pulled me all the way up to him, crashing his lips to mine. When he finally broke our kiss, he was still panting even as our heart rates were returning to normal.

"That was the most amazing thing I've ever felt in my life. Thank you," he whispered as he pressed his forehead to mine. His hair was damp with sweat as I ran my fingers softly through his curls.

"I've been wanting to do that since the first night I met you." I kissed him again, gently this time. I wanted to convey how much this meant and how important he was. In spite of our moment, I started to giggle and slowly looked around us, remembering exactly where we were. "Do you think anyone heard us?"

"Fuck, if I know," he laughed in return. "Come on, I have to get back to work."

He emerged from the shower first, looked around, and then motioned for me to follow. Thankfully, my screaming erection had quieted down some and I was able to regain my composure. We both walked back around to the front of the house, acting as calm and collected as we could.

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**So, there you go...my boys got some lovin'! I can't wait to what you think about the shower goodness. Hopefully you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: ****UGH! I can't believe this chapter took me so long to get posted. So sorry!! RL has been crazy between work, family, and my whirlwind trip to San Diego, and my boys have been neglected. But, I'm back now and hope to get things moving again. Thank you all so much for your amazing comments and words of encouragement. As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie and Michelle. They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! **

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)**

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It's been 2 hours since my lunch escapade with Jasper and I've been staring at my BlackBerry waiting for it to ring ever since.

_Pathetic, thy name is Edward. _

For the last hour, I've been lying here on this blanket, soaking up the sun, and replaying what happened in my mind. Every couple minutes or so, I've been opening my eyes and checking the phone to make sure that he hasn't texted me. Nothing. This is unacceptable. Time to take matters into my own hands.

**I can still taste you. ~E**

Yep, that ought to do it. I shifted on the blanket and was almost comfortable when I heard the familiar chirp of my phone…incoming text message. Right on time.

_**Fuck! Just got hard again. Where are you? –J**_

**On the beach. Come by. NOW.**

_**UGH! Can't. Busy at work. Dad's here. Plans tonight?**_

**None. What's up?**

_**Bonfire with friends on beach. Come by at 8:00. Can't wait to see you.**_

**Cool. I'm there. Can't wait to see you too.**

After sending the last text, I tossed the phone to the side and flipped back onto my stomach. As I closed my eyes, I couldn't hide the smile on my face. Not only was I seeing Jasper tonight, I was going to get to hang out with him and all his friends, it was like I was finally going to see him fully in his element. I couldn't wait. In fact, I could barely sit still. Tonight could not come soon enough.

**********

Just before 8:00, I made my way to the beach, both excited and nervous to actually meet all of Jasper's friends. Had he told them about them us and our relationship? Was that what this was, a relationship? I decided to play it cool and act like we are friends. I could take Jasper's lead after that.

I saw the bonfire ahead and noticed that there were four girls sitting around it, drinking beer, and giggling amongst themselves. Jasper had said that he and his friends might be surfing beforehand, and when I looked out into the water, that's where I found them. I stopped for a moment and just drank in the view: Jasper was floating on his board, legs straddling the sides, and laughing hysterically at the other guys. I had to smile at what a total free spirit he was…well, that, and how sexy he looked shirtless in the water.

"Hey, you must be Edward!" A girl's voice brought me out of my revelry and I looked up and saw Bella walking towards me. Yep, she was as unattractive in person as my mother described. Score one for Esme. But, she seemed sweet enough.

"Yep, that's me. I'm Edward Cullen, and you're Bella?" She looked at me with a confused expression. "Um, my mother knows your father. I think she sees him most mornings during her walk on the beach."

"Oh, that's right. Esme, yes?"

"That's mom. She's wanted me to meet you for a long time now. I think she hopes that we'll fall in love and run off into the sunset together."

"Wow! Um…" Bella was completely flustered. Not only was that a ridiculous thing to say, but now I was coming off as a major stalker. Time to backpedal.

"No, that wasn't an invitation for anything. I promise. Actually, I'm sort of taken at the moment. And anyway, you're with Jacob, right?"

Her sigh of relief was long, like she had been holding her breath. But, she giggled nonetheless. "Oh, it's fine. I know all about parents wanting to fix up their kids. Charlie's been doing it since I was about 15. But yes, I am with Jacob. We've been together for over a year now." She looked out onto the water where the guys were still surfing, then turned back to me with a definite gleam in her eyes. "I'm pretty crazy about him, even though he drives me insane most of the time. His twin brother, Mike (that's him out there too), never thought it would last. But, here we are. Come on, let me introduce you to the girls and get you a beer."

We made our way over to the gathering of chairs and blankets, and the three girls who were chatting happily quieted down, and looked at me curiously. "Angela, Jessica, Lauren, this is Edward."

"Hey Ladies, what's up?"

Yep, that was charming. They'll love me. Wait, they are looking at me like I have five heads. This isn't going well. I glanced up beyond them and saw Seth walking up the beach. Thank God, an ally!

"So, you're Edward. You're Jasper's latest fuck." The girl in the middle, Lauren, was smirking at me. Her expression was one of both condescendence and loathing. Ah, this must be Jasper's ex. Great.

"Lauren, that's enough," Seth chimed in and moved to stand by me.

"Um, I'm not really sure what you think you know about me, but I'm not fucking Jasper. We're just hanging out, just friends." I tried to make this better, but I think I was digging a deeper hole for myself. Just Jasper's friend? Not hardly, and Seth's curious glance at me didn't help with the strength of my conviction. But, I tried to keep my cool.

"Aw, come on, Eddie, your secret is safe with us." I could see Lauren wasn't going to let this go. Bitch on wheels. What did Jasper ever see in her anyway?

_No wonder he was looking for me._

"Lauren, is it? Really, there's nothing to tell." Time to switch subjects. "So Seth, what's going on? When are you taking me out there with you guys?"

"Anytime you want, man! Just let me know. I have an extra board and everything…."

"You know it won't last, right? Jasper's idea of commitment is a quick fuck these days. Nothing special. It's just a phase, this whole _gay_ thing." Apparently, Lauren wasn't going to let this go. Well, I was not about ready to acquiesce to this crazy girl.

"You know, if Jasper is gay, it's not a phase. Anyone with any sort of intelligence knows that. And whom he fucks or doesn't fuck isn't really anyone's business but his, right? Well, unless you are a bitch that's just stuck in the past and can't get over herself." I just glared at her, seething. If she wanted a fight, she would get one.

"Ok, girl, you've had a bit too much. Let's walk it off, hon." Angela and Jessica flanked Lauren on either side and started walking her away from me and the hostile situation she created. At the same time, Seth started walking toward the water, toward Jasper. I watched him as he approached Jasper, putting his large hand on Jasper's chest, as if to prevent him from lunging forward. Even though he was still far away from me, I could see the anger in Jasper's expression.

But, it was Bella again who got me to focus. She handed me a beer and motioned for me to sit down. "I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that. She's been a mess ever since Jasper ended things."

"Yeah, I sort of got that." I took a swig of my beer and continued watching the exchange between Seth and Jasper.

"She is still convinced that Jasper being gay is a phase, that he'll wake up one morning, realize what he gave up, and come back to her. Of course, all of us who know Jasper know that this is just who he is and we love him for it. She just hasn't gotten there. It sucks, though, because Mike is so madly in love with her that he can't see straight." She took a long contemplative pull on her beer and sighed. "I never could understand why though. There are much greater girls out there."

Bella and I sat in silence for another minute or two, but the quiet was interrupted my Seth and Jasper rejoining us. Jasper flopped down next to me, took my beer, and looked at me, sadly. "You OK? I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine, no worries." I subtly ran my fingers down his leg and smiled at him, letting him know that I really was OK and that I could handle whatever was thrown at us. A bitch with a grudge wasn't about to rattle me.

After awhile, the rest of the group joined us and the conversation started flowing. It was so interesting to watch their dynamic. As soon as he reached us, Bella ran over and jumped into Jacob's lap and the two started making out like they hadn't seen each other in weeks. Part of me wanted to vomit, the other part thought it was sweet. Lauren was still in her own little bitter bubble, but Jessica and Angela were trying to lighten the mood, and soon the girls were all giggling like nothing happened. And then there was Mike. It was amazing. He looked exactly like Jacob, just as tall and strong, and yet at this moment, he resembled a lost puppy. His love for Lauren was palpable, and yet she seemed to be clueless. She just kept glancing at Jasper; looking at him like he was something to eat.

_Back off sister. If anyone is eating Jasper, it's me. Good God, did I just think that? Fuck!_

Taking advantage of the brief lapse in conversation, Jasper leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Want to go for a walk?"

"Definitely, let's get out of here." I graciously accepted his offer and hopped up off the blanket.

"We're out of here guys. Seth, see you tomorrow, man! You got my board, right?" Seth nodded his response and with that, we headed up the beach in the direction of my house. For as much as I had wanted to escape the party, I really didn't want our night to be over and was desperately hoping that he wasn't walking me home just yet.

When we approached the dunes by my house, I made a slight turn, thinking that we were heading up, but Jasper took my hand and set me straight. "Not yet." We kept walking, hand-in-hand, for a couple more blocks and then I had to stop. I couldn't believe what I was looking at: two beach chairs, a blanket sprawled out in the sand, and a small pit for our own private bonfire. I just looked at him, speechless. "I wanted some alone time with you," he said quietly, almost like he was embarrassed.

"You did all this for me?"

"I did it for us. Come on, sit down with me." We both sat down on the cozy blanket, the beach chairs helping to block us from view. We quietly sat there, watching the moonlight dance off the waves that were gently rolling onto the shore. Jasper was the first to break the silence, although he didn't turn to face me, I just felt his hand gently touch mine, his thumb ghosting circles on the top of my hand. "I am so sorry that you had to deal with all that back there. If I'd known you would have been attacked by my jealous ex, I never would have asked you to come. Are you sure you're OK?"

"Jas, I'm fine. It was awkward and intense and solidified the fact that I will NEVER be into girls, but you don't have to worry, I can take care of myself."

Jasper smiled in relief, but something was still plaguing him. He seemed sad. "How long do I have you?"

I wasn't sure where he was going with all this, but I was getting worried. I tried to keep it light. "Um, for as long as you want me?"

"Seriously, Edward. How long do we have? How long before you have to leave?" He still wasn't looking at me; his eyes were just fixed on the waves, like all of the sudden, he had a weight on his shoulders that he couldn't lift. It was in that moment that it all really hit me: I was falling for him and he was falling for me. It didn't make any sense, we had known each other for less than a week, but here it was right in front of us: Love.

I slid my hand over his. "We leave at the end of the month, Labor Day weekend. My dad will probably go home earlier, but Mom and I might stay down longer. "

He let out a long sigh, like he had been holding it in waiting for my response. "Well, then, we need to make the most of the time we have left."

_Oh Hell no. He was not going there. _

"Jas, look at me." I reached over and gently lifted his chin so our eyes locked. "Just because I am leaving in three weeks doesn't mean this has to end. If what is happening with us is real, distance won't matter. " I grazed my hand down the side of his face and he leaned into my touch. "I want you and only you. The rest is just geography."

That was all Jas needed to hear. He pulled me into him and kissed me passionately. My lips parted and I took his tongue eagerly into my mouth. This kiss wasn't slow and languid like the others before, it was full of lust and desire. This amazing guy was mine and I needed to show him that, no matter what, I was his. I sighed deeply into the kiss and gently pushed him onto his back and settled myself between his legs. He moaned loudly as our throbbing erections touched each other through the thin cotton of our shorts and he thrust his hips up towards me, craving more friction.

I broke our kiss and let my lips nibble and suck their way down his face and neck. "Edward…more" he purred as his hands made their way up under my t-shirt and explored my back. He tried to bring me closer, but I needed to say something first. I placed another soft kiss on his lips, and then pulled away to look at him, so beautiful lying there beneath me. He sighed at the brief loss of contact, but looked up at me, with the most loving eyes I had ever seen.

"Baby, never doubt for one second that I want you, all of you."

"I want you too. Now." The love in Jas' eyes turned to lust and there was no way I could deny what we both wanted. I attacked his lips with my own as he wrapped his legs around my waist and thrust his hips up against me. My breath hitched as our dicks touched each other again, so badly needing their release.

I broke our kiss again, just long enough for me to reach up and pull my shirt over my head. Knowing that we both needed skin-on-skin contact, Jas sat up and raised his arms so I could pull his shirt off too. He pulled me back down on top of him, capturing my lips again. I rolled my hips into his and he thrust up into mine, whimpering and he sucked my bottom lip.

_Roll...thrust…roll…thrust. _

Our bodies moved perfectly in tune with each other, like we were somehow meant to be together this way. Jas' movements under me became erratic and I knew he was close. I was on the edge as well, but I wanted to make him come first. I wanted to take care of him.

"That's it, Baby," I pleaded. "Come for me."

"Fuck, Edward!" He moaned as he thrust upward one more time and came hard, his whole body shuddering with undeniable pleasure. Hearing him cry out my name and feeling his body under mine sent me over the edge as well, following just after him. We came down from our mutual high and panted together as I rolled off to the side and faced him. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Reaching over, I gently moved one of his sweat-soaked curls away from his face to look into his eyes. His breathing was still heavy as he closed the distance again, kissing me softly. "You're amazing," he sighed between kisses. He rested his head in the crook of my neck and settled in, with my arms around him, lightly stroking his hair.

"I'm only amazing because I have you."

Jasper sat up, taking me with him, and attacked my mouth again with another passionate kiss. It was like he couldn't get enough of me…and I completely understood the feeling. I started to lean back, to pull him on top of me, when I felt the combined wetness of our shorts on my thigh and just had to stop. "Ugh!" Horrified, I looked down and when Jasper saw me, he did exactly what Jasper would do: he laughed.

He got up from our blanket and pulled me up with him, not letting go of my hands. "Come on, Mr. Man, a quick dip in the ocean will fix this problem."

I dropped my hands and firmly planted my feet in the sand. "Oh, hell, no! I've seen _Jaws_ 50,000 times, it's my all-time favorite movie, and trust me, it doesn't end well for the night-swimmer in the beginning! Nope. I'll just stay here."

Jasper's laughter was almost uncontrollable now as he witnessed my, for lack of a better word, "mantrum." I was acting like I was five, and he knew it, and apparently thought it was hysterical. "Baby, the way I see it, you have two choices. One, you come for a quick swim with me to get washed off, or two, you walk into your house and face Esme with cum all over your shorts. Choice seems easy to me. Man up!"

_Jaws? Esme? Jaws? Esme?_

Sighing, I looked at him, then out to the water, then back to my house behind the dunes. He's right; I had to make a choice.

"Race ya to the water!!"

* * *

**Hopefully, this chapter answered some of your lingering questions about these two and where their relationship is going. If not, definitely let me know and I'll do my best to clarify. Anyway, I hope you liked it!! :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: ****Hey Kids! Thank you all so much for your amazing comments and words of encouragement. As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie (C-Me-Smile) and Michelle. They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! OH, and if you haven't checked out Christie's brilliant fic, _Begin Again_, run and read it now. There are no words!  
**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)

* * *

**

I've never felt true euphoria before, but as I lay here in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I knew I was pretty close to pure bliss. Jasper was mine and I was his. I have no idea how this happened or why, but I did know that he had changed my life.

I closed my eyes and let out a long, contented sigh. I was remembering how his body felt under mine, how every time he thrust up into me and matched my movements, our dicks touched and filled me with a fire that I had never felt before. Without thinking, my hand made its way down my chest and under the waistband of my boxers, where my rock-hard cock was longing to be touched. I wrapped my hand around it and started stroking. I ran my thumb over my head, gathering the pre-cum and let out a low moan as I felt the wetness and thought about Jasper, about pushing myself into him for the first time.

"Fuck!" I whimpered as my hand suddenly had a mind of its own. I felt the familiar feeling of my balls tightening and I knew I was close. My strokes became faster and more intense as I envisioned Jasper in front of me, my dick pumping into him. I was fucking him hard, giving him everything I had. My mind was filled with images of my cock plunging in and out of him repeatedly and the sounds of his pleasure as I hit all the right places. It was too much. My hips thrust up into my hand and I came hard, covering my hand and the inside of my boxers in hot cum.

I slowly came down from my high and rolled out of bed to get a towel from the bathroom. After cleaning up and changing boxers, I crawled back into bed, pulled the covers up over and me and began to drift to sleep, completely relaxed.

At that moment, when I was almost out, I heard the familiar chirp of my BlackBerry, signaling a new text message. I had to smile; he must know that I was thinking of him. I rolled over, grabbed my phone, and read the message. My body froze.

_**Come home soon. My bed isn't as fun without you. **_

Fuck.

Eric.

**********

I tossed and turned for the rest of the night, not able to turn my mind off.

Eric. He was at home waiting for me, and I hadn't thought about him once since I first clapped eyes on Jasper. We had fucked the night before I left and I had promised to keep in touch, but hadn't, obviously. My life had taken an unexpected turn and my heart belonged to someone now. Everything was different.

What was I going to tell Jasper?

I knew I had to handle this and quickly, but I really didn't know what to do or how to do it. How do I tell this amazing guy that there is another guy in my life too? I couldn't breathe.

At that moment, my phone chirped again and brought me out of my current state of panic. What if it was Eric again? How would I respond? Thankfully, it was Jasper.

_**Going surfing at 7. Meet me at the beach. Can't wait. **_

Surfing. Perfect. This would give us time to talk and maybe I could make him understand. Yes! This might not be tragic after all!

**********

At about 6:45, I hopped out of bed, threw on my bathing suit and headed into the kitchen for my daily dose of OJ. Emmett and Rosalie were already up with Alice and were both looking at me curiously.

"It's before 10:00, why the hell are you up, man?" Emmett hit me on the back of the head as he walked by me on the way to the couch. Rosalie giggled and gave me a peck on the cheek.

"Don't mind him, little brother. I think it's nice that you're up before noon. I'm making breakfast, what do you want?"

"Thanks, Doll, but I'm fine. I'm actually going surfing with a friend this morning."

Emmett's laughter invaded the house. "Surfing? You? Well, good luck with that." Fine, I'm not the most coordinated person, but I was an excellent swimmer and knew I could handle this. And besides, I got to see Jasper in his board shorts. That was good enough for me.

I drank my juice, gave Rosalie and Alice kisses, playfully punched Emmett, and was on my way to the beach. The morning was so peaceful down here. The sun was shiningly brightly, but wasn't fully high in the sky yet. As I walked over the dunes, I was taken aback by the look of the water. The sunlight was sparkling off the waves like diamonds. It was gorgeous. And speaking of all things gorgeous, Jasper was about half way down the beach, preparing his board. I wanted to just stand here and revel in the hard lines of his body and how he moved, but I needed to touch him. So, I picked up my pace and got to him quickly.

The beach was empty, so when I reached Jasper, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close to me, whispering in his ear, "Hey, Baby. Miss me?"

He pushed his ass back into me, making my dick harden almost instantly. "Ungh, you have no idea. I thought about you all night."

"You going to tell me what you were thinking? Or, more importantly, what you were doing while thinking of me?" I moved my hands down his chest and let my fingers toy with the waistband of his shorts. I placed butterfly kisses all over his neck and nibbled on his ear. His breath hitched as my hand moved lower and ghosted over his erection, making both of us moan in the process.

"Fuck…Edward. You're killing me right now." He brought his hands down on top of my own. As I moved to touch is dick again, he stopped me. "We need to stop, this is a public beach and Seth will be here in a bit."

I sighed into his ear and kissed his neck one more time. "Fine, fine. I'll hold the thought until later, when I have you alone…and in my bed." I felt his body shiver at my suggestion, but then he pulled away and turned to face me, with the sexiest smirk I've ever seen.

"Oh really? I'm going to be in your bed?"

"If I have anything to say about it, most definitely. But enough of that, let's get in the water."

Jasper smiled so brilliantly and laughed. "Sure, Mr. Man, let's do it! The red board is yours. Just follow me."

We walked to the water's edge together, but then Jasper took off, jumping over the small waves as he ran out to where the water was calm. Then he dove down, his board still under him, and disappeared in the water. I've been a competitive swimmer for three years, and yet I've never seen anything so graceful. When he broke the surface, he took a breath, shook the excess water from his curls, and climbed on his board. I hadn't moved an inch.

"Come on, Edward! What are you waiting for? The water's perfect!"

"On my way!" With that, I repeated his actions, although admittedly not with the same amount of grace and dignity, and joined him out in the water. "Hey Baby, the water's calm, what are we actually going to surf?"

"There's not much going on this morning, that's true. But let's just enjoy the feel of the cool water on our legs and the sun on our backs, yes?"

God, he could make anything sound sexy.

"Sounds good to me!" We sat there in comfortable silence for minute, just floating on the calm water and stealing glances at each other. Finally, Jasper grabbed the back of my board, pulling me close to him…and in for a kiss. I fisted his hair and brought him closer to deepen the kiss, but before I completely lost myself in him, I broke the kiss and centered myself back on my board.

"What were you saying about this being a public beach…and Seth showing up?" I asked while panting, making Jasper laugh, of course.

"I know, I know. I just couldn't help myself. You just look so fucking sexy on my surfboard! But yes, Seth will be here soon. He was really excited about hanging out this morning."

"So, aside from him being your best friend, you haven't said a lot about him. What's his story? I mean, were you two ever, um…."

"Together? Nope. Seth's as straight as they come. In fact, he's practically engaged to his girlfriend, Emily."

"Really? That's awesome! But, why wasn't she at the bonfire the other night?"

"Well, Emily's actually his sister Leah's college roommate, if you can believe it. Leah is going into her sophomore year at Villanova and Seth helped her move in last year. Anyway, Seth and Emily took one look at each other and it was pretty much a done deal. He studied like a crazy person last year so he can apply to 'Nova in the fall and be with her. My guess is that they'll be engaged pretty soon after she graduates and married soon after he does. Anyway, she's been traveling this summer, so he hasn't seen her as much as we wanted to, poor guy."

"Wow! Sounds like he has it all figured out. Good for him! It's funny, it sounds like he could be a Cullen." I chuckled at both the thought and the look on Jasper's confused face. "My family has a habit of doing the exact same thing. We actually have a family joke that the Cullens are like penguins, we mate for life."

Jasper looked even more confused now. "OK. Care to explain?"

"Well, my mother and father met down here when they were 16. She was a waitress and he was a cook. They began dating almost instantly and were inseparable for the summer. They did the distance thing until they both finished high school and then went to The University of Pennsylvania together. They got married during their junior year because they couldn't wait.

"Then there's my brother Emmett. He wanted to escape Philly and find himself, so he went to Harvard. He met my sister-in-law Rosalie during freshman orientation and they got married a week after graduation. See what I mean? Once we know, we know."

Jasper had a huge, sexy smile on his face and he ran his hand through his curls and he contemplated this. "And, do they think it will be the same for you? More importantly, do YOU think it will be the same?" He bit his bottom lip and smiled when he asked me, and my heart just swelled.

_Yep, it's exactly the same._

"Well, since they don't know I'm gay, Mom is dying for me to meet a good girl, fall in love, and start planning my life. I, on the other hand, never saw that kind of life as happening for me. I've always been different and was convinced that I would never find that perfect person."

"And now?"

_God, how cute is he??_

"And now…I think I am starting to have a new outlook on the way my life could go." I smiled warmly at him and reached out to take his hand. Jasper then pulled me in closer for another kiss. He deepened the kiss and I didn't want to break away. Unlike before, this time, I wanted to get lost in him, in the growing love I was feeling. I moaned into him, indicating that I wanted more. Jasper pulled back slightly and began kissing my neck and nibbling on my ear.

"Tell me what you want, Baby." He whispered as his tongue continued it's delicious assault on my neck and jaw line. "You can have everything, just tell me."

"I want to take you home to my bed and feel every inch of you inside me."

"Fuck," he purred. And with that, I crashed my lips back into his. I loved the way he tasted and right now, feeling the heat of his body and the cool of the water beneath us, I couldn't get enough.

"OK, seriously…you guys REALLY need to take that shit inside!! This is a family beach!"

Seth.

Jasper and I pulled away from each other, blushing, but laughing at the booming voice coming from the shoreline.

"That's better, my boys. And hey, you realize the water is like glass and you two are actually only floating, not surfing, right?" Seth was standing at the water's edge board in hand, with a stupid grin on his face, just laughing at us.

"Hey, you gonna stand there and talk all morning, or are you gonna get in here with us?" I yelled out to Seth, making Jasper roar with laughter. With that, Seth ran out into the water and paddled out to join us. It was amazing how comfortable I felt, like I was actually part of this little group down here. For the first time, I really felt like I fit in somewhere.

Seth finally broke me out of my contemplation. "So, according to Mike, everyone is going to the boardwalk tomorrow night to hang out and get out of town for a few hours. You guys up for it?"

Jasper looked at me expectantly. "Nah, count me out, guys."

"Why not? You're not still upset about the Lauren thing are you? Honestly, Edward, I can handle her. She needs to see that I am with you now and that's not going to change because she got drunk and was a bitch one night."

Seth jumped in immediately. "Seriously, Ed, I got your back too. Just come out with us, no pressure."

"Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it, but really, Lauren's not an issue. Actually, I am babysitting my niece, Alice, tomorrow night. My parents, brother, and sister-in-law are heading to AC for the night." I glanced at Jasper, raising one eyebrow, hoping he would get my hint. He did, and blushed.

"Ahh…so, let me guess. You have the house to yourself for the night, which means that I am the only one of the three of us going out tomorrow, huh? Fine, fine." Seth pretended to pout, but Jasper splashed him with water, interrupting his overly dramatic moment.

The next hour flew by quickly and soon, it was time for Jasper to head to work and Seth and I to go home and about our days. We swam back to shore, put our boards down and toweled off.

"Sorry I have to leave so soon, guys." Jasper then turned to me, grabbed my hand and pulled me close. "I'm free tonight. Want to come over?" Then, not caring about Seth and anyone else who might be around, he leaned in and kissed me. I felt it in my toes.

"Yeah, call me when you get home and I'll be there." I kissed him again and watched him carrying the boards up the beach. Once he disappeared over the dunes, I sat on my towel, taking in the morning sun. Surprisingly, Seth flopped down next to me.

"You want to hang for a bit? I don't have to meet my dad for awhile."

"Sounds like a plan." We sat in silence for a few minutes, neither one of us really knowing where to begin. I was falling in love with his best friend and I'm sure he had a ton of questions for me, questions that I wasn't sure I was prepared to answer. Before long, Seth broke the silence.

"So, you really like him, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. I more than like him, actually. You're the first person I've told that to." I looked away from him and down at the sand, embarrassed by my admission. I knew that Jasper felt the same way about me, but I had never freely discussed it with anyone. It made me nervous.

"Well, I like you, Ed, and I think you're great for him. I really do. But, what's your deal anyway? Are you gay or bi? Are you out or still closeted? Do you want a real relationship with him?"

"Fuck. That's a lot of questions." My head was spinning as I pondered everything. I wanted to say something stupid and deflect the attention, but Seth was the closest thing Jasper had to a brother, so I had to be honest. "I'm gay, but no, I'm not out yet. As for what I want from Jasper, I want to spend every waking moment I can with him for the next three weeks, and then take it from there. Does that help?"

"Why aren't you out? Are you scared of what your family and friends might think?"

"Are you always this curious and straight-forward?"

"Yes, especially when my best friend's heart is at stake. I look out for him, if you haven't noticed." He chuckled, lightening the mood, but I still got the point. He was Jasper's protector and although he liked me, he didn't know what to make of me, or if he could trust me.

"I'm glad he has a friend like you. I think everyone needs that. So, I guess there's no great revelation in my story. As I said, I'm gay, but I just haven't felt the need to come out yet. It's not out of fear or ambiguity about who I am, I just always saw that part of my life as being private and something that I wanted to keep to myself. Well, until I found that person who would change all that."

"And now you think you have?"

"I find myself wanting to shout it from the rooftops."

"So, what's stopping you?"

Shaking my head, I just sighed. "I have no idea."

"Well, man, you need to figure it out. Jasper came out a year ago after a pretty intense internal battle trying to figure out who he was. He's never looked back no matter who stood by him or who left because they didn't get it. He's the strongest person I ever met and he deserves someone who can be absolutely free with him."

I nodded my head in understanding, and pondered the levity of what Seth just said. Jasper knew exactly who he was and never apologized for it. To be with him, I had to step up and be the same way. I needed to really BE with him, not just love him behind closed doors.

"I totally get it and I promise I'll try and be whatever he needs. Hey, Seth, I gotta get going, man. Thanks for the chat."

"No problem, Ed. Like I said, I think you guys are great together and want to see this work for you. See you around, OK?"

"Definitely." I got up and started walking up towards home. Seth had given me a lot to think about. I have to get myself together and be the kind of guy that Jasper wanted and needed. Every day, I felt more certain that he was my future, so now it was up to me to reach out and grab it.

**********

When I got home, my dad was at the dining room table, going over patient charts and training camp files for the Eagles. "How's it going, Dad? Eagles hire you to coach yet?"

Dad looked up from his mountain of paper work and laughed. "Not yet, Edward. I'm just going over things. I'm heading home on Friday for the weekend. I need to check in on a couple patients and then head over to Nova Care to check on Westbrook's ankle." Brian Westbrook was the Eagles' star running back and currently my dad's most high-profile patient. All Philadelphia eyes would be on him this season, and it was up to my dad to make sure he was in playing shape. No pressure.

I instantly perked up. "Really? Is Mom going with you?"

"Yep. Emmett and Rosalie are staying behind for a little alone time. The Hale's are coming next week so I think they wanted some peace before the chaos." Rosalie's parents were great, but completely high maintenance. Hopefully, we had enough wine on hand to get Rose through.

"If it's OK, I think I'll come too. There's something I want to take care of at home, if you don't mind."

"Sure, son. I'm planning on leaving Friday afternoon." Just then, Dad's cell phone went off and he rolled his eyes and answered it. I smiled and headed back to my room.

Once in my sanctuary, I curled up on my bed, relaxing under the ceiling fan and thought about my next move. It wouldn't be easy, but I knew what I had to do.

I picked up my BlackBerry, found Eric's last text and hit reply.

**I'm home Friday night. Will be over at 10. Need to see you.**

**

* * *

OK...I know this chapter was a bit long, but there was just a lot to say! As always, I hope you like it. Let me know what you think! xoxo  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: ****Hey Kids! I hope you all had an amazing holiday and that Santa brought you everything you wanted! Thank you all so much for your amazing comments and words of encouragement. As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie (C-Me-Smile) and Michelle. They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! OH, and if you haven't checked out Christie's brilliant fic, _Begin Again_, run and read it now. There are no words!  
**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)

* * *

**

Just like he said he would, Jasper texted me at 6:00 saying that he was home and wanted me at his house ASAP. I had to play this just right. The problem was, I had no idea what I was going to do. Jasper was waiting for me, undoubtedly wanting to continue where we left off on the beach this morning. I wanted the same thing; I wanted to curl up next to him, naked in his bed, and kiss every inch of him, showing him how much be means to me. But not like this; not with something hanging over us. He had to know first.

After a quick dinner with my family, I headed out, walking the six blocks to the Whitlock's house on the beach. When I got there, I took one look at it and smiled; it was so perfectly Jasper, exactly the kind of house I pictured him growing up in.

I walked up the driveway toward the green, two-story Cape Cod that was dwarfed by the monstrosities surrounding it. The small house sat on a double lot that housed a basketball court and a detached two-car garage around back. As I peered around, I saw Jasper's Jeep**,** stacked with his surfboards**,** was parked in the driveway by the door to the back porch.

I walked up the stairs in front and knocked, nervous about meeting his parents and the conversation that lay ahead. After tonight, everything could be better, or it could all have ended. It would be up to Jasper.

His mom greeted me at the door. "Hi, you must be Edward. Jasper's been expecting you." She was polite enough, but far from welcoming. In fact, she slowly looked me over and must have come to a disappointing conclusion. Apparently, I was not what she was hoping I'd be.

"Hi, Mrs. Whitlock! I'm Edward Cullen. It's so nice to meet you." Yep, I shamelessly turned on the charm. Jasper was important, so I had to make this work, somehow. Although, admittedly, this woman was totally giving me the creeps. She seemed so nice at The Pier when we went for breakfast. I guess that was before her son's boyfriend was meeting her face-to-face.

She opened the door wider, allowing me in. We walked through the front porch and into the large living room. I noticed a set of stairs on the wall closest to the porch. Mrs. Whitlock stopped there. "He's up in his room: up the stairs, first door on the right."

"Thanks ma'am!" I bolted for the stairs, mainly to be away from her prying eyes. I closed the slider behind me and slowly walked up the narrow staircase. I could hear loud music vibrating through the walls and the pit in my stomach grew. I stopped half way up the stairs, trying to collect my thoughts. What if this was it? What if he never wanted to see me again?

_Then you'd lose everything you've __ever wanted and go home to Eric for another year of meaningless sex. _

"Fuck off," I muttered to myself as I continued my ascent up the stairs, ready to face Jasper and whatever our future was going to be.

I turned the corner and knocked on the door, pushing it open as I went in. The room was huge, taking up almost the entire second story. The first thing I noticed was the king-sized bed right by the door when I walked in. It was rumpled, like he obviously never made it this morning. I thought about us rolling around in it and my dick responded immediately.

_Get your mind out of the gutter, Cullen!_

On the other side of the room, was Jasper, sprawled out on a sofa playing Mario Kart on the Wii, which was fittingly hooked up to the massive plasma TV that hung on the wall. "Hey you." Surprisingly, my timid greeting grabbed his attention and he jumped up immediately and made his way towards me.

God, he looked beautiful.

"Hey, Baby! Ugh, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to get here." He kept walking towards me, stopped, and then grabbed one of the belt loops on my shorts and pulled me into him. His lips met mine and we both moaned into the kiss when our erections brushed up against each other. Jasper's kisses became more passionate as he walked us backwards until we were at the foot of his bed. He released my lips and kissed his way down my neck and then back up to my ear. "I've wanted you in my bed for so long."

Our lips found each other again, and he ran his hand down my chest to the waistband of my shorts. My stomach sucked in and his hand ghosted over my rock hard cock, which now had a mind of its own and was begging to be touched, begging for release. I let out a primal growl and kissed him harder has he unbuttoned my shorts, pulled down the zipper, and pushed his hand inside my boxers, grabbing me. Jasper hummed into the kiss as he stroked me. "Baby, I love how hard you get for me," he purred.

My mind was clouded as I grabbed his hips and pulled him toward me, wanting to create more friction. I was in complete ecstasy as we stood there at the foot of his bed, kissing passionately while he stroked me.

But this was wrong. Not like this.

"Jas, you have to stop." I tried to pull away; tried to clear my head and make my body stop wanting him. I had to bring myself back from the edge that I was almost falling over.

In response, he bit down on my shoulder, claiming me as his. I whimpered at the combination of pleasure and pain that was searing through my body. My mind knew this was wrong, that I shouldn't let him do this with what I had to tell him, but my body was betraying me. With every stroke and every kiss, I was losing control. "Jas, really, you have to stop. Baby, please."

"Shhh…relax, Edward. Think about my hand wrapped around you, the way my tongue feels when I suck you." This wasn't fair; he had me completely. His hand sped up and his breathing was ragged when he whispered in my ear, "think about the first time I fuck you, about my dick finally being inside you." His lips captured mine again and it was all I needed.

"Fuck, Jas!" I panted as I exploded into his hand. He continued pumping me, moaning into my mouth as he prolonged my orgasm and took all that I had. When I finally came down, I pulled away from his kiss, as he gently pushed me back onto the bed and went to get a towel. I lay there, my body more relaxed than ever, and my mind wracked with guilt. How could I let that happen? What kind of guy am I?

Jasper came back with a towel and gently cleaned me up. Then, he tossed me a pair of his boxers. "You might need these," he laughed, and flopped down on the bed next to me.

"Thanks." I sat up, put on his boxers and turned to look at him; he was so gorgeous, all content and peaceful. "Really, Jas, you didn't have to do that. That's not why I came here tonight."

He reached up and touched my face. "I know, Baby. But, I wanted to." Ever observant, he noticed my hesitation and sat up quickly, capturing my eyes with his. "What's wrong, Edward? Are you OK?"

"Not really, no. Jas, I came over because I need to talk to you about something. You see, I'm going home this weekend."

He gripped my hand tight, obviously confused. "What? But, I thought we had all month? Why are you leaving so early?"

"No, no. I'm not leaving for good, just going home for the weekend. There's something important that I need to take care of."

"Thank God! I wasn't ready for you to leave yet." He started to let go of my hand, but I held it tighter, needing the contact.

"Jas, there's a guy at home; a guy I need to talk to."

He pulled away from me sharply, like he was reacting to touching extreme heat. He flinched as if in pain. "You…you have a boyfriend?"

"No! Well, not really, no."

"What?? You either do or you don't. Which is it, and don't fuck with me. Just be honest." His eyes were on fire now and the pit in my stomach was growing. I could feel it; I was going to lose him.

"I have a best friend…with benefits." UGH! As that came out of my mouth it sounded so ridiculous that I almost laughed myself. Who the hell says that?

Jasper let out a loud laugh, but one that held no joy or happiness. He was in pain and I caused this. "A friend with benefits??? What the fuck? Are we in some lame romance novel now, Edward?? Who the hell says that?" He then scooted up onto his pillows so he was sitting with his back against the headboard, arms crossed around his chest. He put as much space between us as be could. I wanted to follow him, to be as close as I could be, but I just sat there frozen. I couldn't look at him and say this.

"Eric has been my best friend since we were in middle school. We started hooking up last year." I sounded so pathetic and small confessing this to him now.

"Tell me everything. I think I deserve that much, don't you?" His tone was cold and unforgiving. But, I took a deep breath and turned to face him.

"The whole story?" He only nodded, like he was too angry to speak. "OK. Eric and I met on the soccer field in fifth grade and instantly became best friends. We did everything together and knew all of each other's secrets. I always knew I was different and I wanted to tell him everything, but instead I chose to just laugh along with him when he'd talk about the girls he was into and whom he was hooking up with. I thought he'd hate me if he knew that I was into guys. So, I kept the secret to myself."

"Had you always been into him?"

"No, not at all. It's never been about that. Actually, I was never even attracted to him, never gave him a second thought, until one night last year when I was over at his house. We were watching a movie, drinking too much beer, and laughing hysterically, when it just happened: out of the blue, Eric leaned over and kissed me. I was floored I had no idea what to do. So, I kissed him back. Fuck, it felt amazing!"

Jas raised his eyebrows and glared at me. "Not what I want to hear."

"Sorry, Jas, but it did. Not because he was a great kisser, but because my secret was out and in the hands of someone that I trusted. I felt accepted." I thought I saw a hint of him softening, but I wasn't getting my hopes up. "Anyway, after several hours of us making out, I left, feeling horny as hell but happy, really happy." I paused, trying to gauge his reaction. "Um, how much of this do you want to hear?"

His expression never wavered. "All of it."

I let out a long sigh and tried to inch my way closer to him. I saw him stiffen, so I backed off a bit. "Well, the next day, Eric came over and we talked a bit. He told me that he had been attracted to me for a while and had a feeling that I was gay, but was scared to act on it. I was so taken with him in that moment, that I kissed him again. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. It was the first time I had ever been with anyone."

"Jesus." He just shook his head and sighed.

"I hate telling you all this. You shouldn't have to hear the details."

Jasper just rolled his eyes at me. "I need the details. I need to know where we stand. So, do you love him?"

"No, Jas, it was never like that. It was never emotional; just sex."

"I don't believe you."

"Please, you have to believe me. I need you to understand. What Eric and I have, well, HAD, was nothing more than friendship. It was about connecting, experimenting, playing around. It was never about love."

"And yet, you've been fucking him for a year now?"

"Yes."

"Is he good?"

"What?"

"Come on, Edward. Don't hold back. Is he good?" His voice was still even-toned, but he was getting angry. I couldn't believe he wanted the details. How was I supposed to look into his eyes and describe what it was like to fuck another guy? He can't be serious!

"Jas, don't, please."

"Tell me, Edward. Do you fantasize about him; about what he feels like and tastes like, about how he makes you come?"

This was ridiculous. I had gone from being timid and apologetic to being livid. What the fuck did he want from me? I jumped up off the bed and began pacing back and forth. Jasper's expression remained cold as I began what I can only describe as some crazy nonsensical rant.

"Fine. You really want to know? Here it is. Did I fantasize about him? Yes. Did I love it when he fucked me and drove himself into me? Yes. Did I love fucking his mouth and watching him take all of me? Hell, yes." I continued pacing, almost like I was having an out of body experience. Jasper just stared at me, wide-eyed, mouth open, not knowing what to say in response. He was looking at me like my head was going to explode. It felt like it was.

Jasper sighed in defeat, hanging his head. "So, that's it then."

"Fuck no, that's not it. Have you heard enough, Jas?? Why don't you ask me the real questions, asshole?"

"What the fuck do you want me to ask? I think you've covered everything."

I stopped pacing, put my hands on the edge of bed and looked into his disbelieving eyes. "Why don't you ask me how I felt?"

"Fine, Edward. How did you feel?" His sarcasm made me want to punch him and storm out. Before I knew what was happening, the pacing started again and I was in the middle of another crazy monologue that would surely have him running for the nearest door.

"You're so wrapped up in the act of us fucking each other, that you haven't even stopped to consider that that might be all it is; fucking. There was no longing, no anticipation, no sense of feeling whole and complete with him." Jasper looked at me, not trusting what I was saying fully, but I could tell he was beginning to open back up. Hell, I'd come this far, and if I was going to lose him tonight, I might as well put all my cards out on the table.

"I don't get butterflies when I see Eric. I don't check my phone constantly throughout the day hoping for a text from him. I don't jack off every morning to the anticipation of seeing him again, and what it will be like to touch him. I don't get so consumed with my need to be near him that my mind goes fuzzy and I can't breathe. That's all you. That's what YOU do to me. Eric is all about sex, experimentation, and getting each other off. It has nothing to do with falling in love."

I gasped, realizing what I had done. It was out there. I said the L-word and admitted that I was falling hard for him. There was no way to go back. I tried to calm myself down and I walked over to his side of the bed, and knelt down to look at him, deep in the eyes. "That's right, Jas. I'm falling in love with you. Hell, I AM in love with you. I'm going home this weekend to tell Eric that I can't be with him in that way anymore; my body and heart belong to you now. Please, just say something."

Jasper just looked down at his hands and let out a long sigh. "I don't know if I can do this."

Tears were welling up in my eyes and I slowly stood up beside him. "It's OK. I don't need an answer from you now. Take whatever time you need. I'll always be here. And, if you don't want to be with me again, I'll understand." I walked to the door ready to see myself out. I was desperately hoping that he would stop me, tell me that he loved me too and that everything would be OK. But, he didn't. He was just silent. Sadly, I left his room, not knowing if I would see him again.

My heart was officially broken.

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**OK****, writing this chapter made me sad. I feel horrible for Jasper, but really think that Edward handled himself well. What do you guys think? Was Jasper a bit too harsh? Does Edward need some snuggles? I can't wait to hear your thoughts!**

**As for Eric...just to clarify and give you insight into my crazy little mind, Eric is _NOT_**** Eric from Twilight, but rather Eric from True Blood on HBO. If you don't watch it, run and check it out, he's more than worth it. To add a visual, I put a picture of Eric (aka, the delicious Alexander Skarsgård) in my profile. I don't know, I just always thought Edward should visit Eric in Bon Temps for a little play time. ;) Enjoy...and Happy New Year!! xoxo  
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	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: ****Oh my goodness! I can't believe all the reviews/conversations/debates there were about my last chapter! It was amazing! I'm so excited that you are all becoming emotionally invested in these boys and how they turn out. When I feel like I've lost my mojo a bit (which seems to be happening a lot lately), you guys really help me stay focused and keep going...so thanks!! **

**As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie (C-Me-Smile) and Michelle (congrats on the new little man in your life, sweets!!). They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! OH, and if you haven't checked out Christie's brilliant fic, _Begin Again_, run and read it now. There are no words!**

**So, I was going to wait and do this later on in the story, but I thought, given the events of the last chapter, it worked here a bit better. Since you were all so curious about Jasper and how he was feeling, here it is: my first JPOV chapter! Enjoy!!  
**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)

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**JPOV**

What just happened?

One minute, I am getting Edward off and the next, he's telling me about the guy he's been fucking for the past year. And not just any guy, his best friend for fuck's sake!!! And wait, then he gets down on his knees and tells me he loves me. How did that happen?

_Edward loves me? ME?_

And yet, after his confession, I actually let him walk out of this room looking broken. How could I do that? I should run after him, jump into his arms, and tell him that he hasn't lost me. But I can't. Right now, I can't bring myself to get off this bed. I'm literally frozen in place.

With a defeated sigh, I pull the covers up over my head and contemplate what to do next; nothing comes to mind. My head is a mess, but I know myself well enough to acknowledge that I can't do this alone. I need to call for reinforcements.

The covers are still over my head, cocooning me in my misery, as I reach onto the nightstand for my phone. I bring it into my sanctuary with me and hit number one on speed dial.

"You busy?...Yes, come over now….Bring beer."

After what seems like hours, but in reality is probably all of 15 minutes, Seth pushed the door open and puts a six-pack on the bed. "Dude, why are you under the covers? And why the desperate need for beer? You know, it's getting harder and harder to sneak this shit in here. I had to tell Renee that I was sleeping over. Oh, and what's up with her anyway? Someone not tip her at the restaurant or something?"

Still not being able to speak, I pushed one hand out from under the blankets in the direction of his voice. Seth reached over and puts a cold beer into my hand, then ripped the covers off me, taking my warmth and coziness away. Suddenly, I was cold. "Seriously, man. What's going on with you?"

I took a long pull on the cold beer, savoring the way the frothy goodness felt sliding down my throat. "Edward was here. He left about an hour ago."

"OK. So, what's the deal? Did something happen with you guys?"

I closed my eyes and let out a long, drawn-out sigh. "He told me he loved me."

"What? That's awesome!" Seth's excitement quickly turned to confusion as he looked at me and then around my room. "Wait, then why are you here, alone in your bed, looking like you've been through a war or something? And why am I here and not Edward?"

I took another slow drink and tried to find the right words to explain. "He told me he loved me, right after he told me about a guy that he is going home to see this weekend."

Seth was shocked. He sunk down on the bed next to me, grabbed his own beer and drank quickly. "Edward? No way. That doesn't make any sense. How could he have a boyfriend at home? Damn, I don't know what to say, man."

"Yep. Well, according to him, that's not exactly the case." I could tell Seth was confused about everything, so I tried to explain it, even though I really couldn't wrap my head around it myself. "Edward doesn't actually have a boyfriend. He's going home this weekend to see his best friend, some guy named Eric. The catch is, they've been fucking for the past year or so. That's the story."

Seth sat up straight against the headboard. "Wait, let me get this straight. Edward's been fucking his best friend and is going home to see him this weekend?"

"Apparently to tell him about me and to end, well, whatever they had."

He chugged some more of his beer and put the now empty bottle on the nightstand. "And what did you do? What did you say to him?"

"I just sat here, not knowing what to do. I basically said I had to think about it. Then, I watched him leave. Seth, man, he looked so sad, like his heart was broken or something. But I didn't know what to do. So, I did nothing."

Seth opened his second bottle, took a quick drink, then reached over and slapped me on the back of my head. "Of course his heart was breaking! I mean, what did you expect? God, you can be such a dick sometimes, you know that? The guy comes over here, confesses something that really doesn't have to do with you at all, and then pours his heart out and you send him packing? That is so fucked up, man."

Wait! Why was he hitting me? He was supposed to be my confidant, the guy who gets me and understands all this. Why was he turning on me? Now, I wasn't only sad and confused, but I was angry too. "What the fuck do you want from me? You are supposed to be on my side in all this, by the way."

"I am on your side! You know I've always got your back. But really, Jazz, it's not like you're a virgin or something. You've fucked your share of guys before."

"Sure, but they were just random hookups, guys I met at a club or party or something. There wasn't any real connection with any of them. But this, he's been having sex with his best friend, you know? The guy he is closest to; the guy who has his back; the guy who he trusts with his secrets, his life. I mean, fuck, that's like you and I having sex!"

Seth chugged more of his beer and shuddered. "Ok, that's just, well…ew." I glared at him, shooting daggers. "Aww! You know I love you, but really, you aren't my type. Hmmm…. now Edward…that boy is fine!!" Seth broke out in hysterics and despite myself and all my anger and confusion, I found myself laughing with him. I reached behind me, grabbed my pillow and hit him, knocking him off the foot of the bed and onto the floor.

Wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, Seth climbed back up on the bed, and sat in front of me, legs folded under him. "OK, so answer questions honestly for me."

I mirrored his position and prepared for the onslaught. "Go."

"Do you love him?"

I let out a long sigh and took another pull of my beer. "I really think I might."

"How do you feel when you think about him not being around, not being with you?"

"Like there's a gaping hole in my chest."

"Can you imagine being happy without him?"

"I don't want to."

"OK. We are definitely getting somewhere now. So, the big question is: Do you think he's the one?"

There it was, the million-dollar question. I knew I was falling for Edward and falling hard, but "The One?" That seemed like such a vast and incomprehensible thing to me right now. "I don't know. How will I know? How did you know?"

Seth just smiled, getting lost in himself for a second. "I knew the first time I touched Emily that she was the one. I shook her hand and it felt like an electrical storm went off in my body. Everything came alive for the first time. I felt it everywhere, man, from the hair on the back of my neck, to the tips of my toes." He laughed and shook his head at this admission. "It's unbelievable, but it's like that every time we touch; every time I brush her hair out of her eyes, every time we hold hands, and every time we have sex. Dude, she's just the one, it's that simple. So, tell me, is it like that with Edward?"

I grabbed my pillow, wrapped my arms around it, and leaned back against the headboard. "Fuck, yes! I mean, we haven't actually had sex yet, but God, whenever he kisses me or touches me, it feels like I'm on fire. I just can't get enough of him."

"Sounds like he just might be the one after all." Seth was grinning at me like the Cheshire Cat. He knew me better than anyone, and right now, I hated that. "So, young grasshopper, what are you going to do about it?"

I thought about this for a moment and began to feel myself becoming unglued again. Nervously, I ran my hands through my hair and tried to think of something coherent to say. In these moments, coherence wasn't my strong suit. "Fuck if I know. I mean, really, my boyfriend…wait, is that what he is, my boyfriend? I have no idea…but, whatever. My boyfriend tells me that he has been fucking a Scandinavian supermodel who probably stars in rock videos and can make him come just by looking at him." Seth looked at me with one eyebrow raised, like I had totally lost my mind. "OK, fine, so I made that last part up. I have no idea what Eric is like, how many videos he's been in, or how he makes Edward come. But my point is; what the fuck am I supposed to do?? Just let him run home to this guy on Friday?"

In a gesture of surprising intimacy, Seth reached over and touched the side of my face. "Yes, that's exactly what you let him do. Jazz, he didn't have to tell you that, you know. He could have just gone home, dealt with it, and you would never have known. But that's not Edward. He loves you, I mean, he really loves you, and his way of dealing with that was to be open and honest. And you just sat here and made him think that he was wrong, that he couldn't trust you with his heart. You need to make this right, for both of you."

"God, I am a total douchebag, aren't I?"

"Well, I wasn't going to say it. But, yeah, maybe." Seth just smirked at me, but I knew deep down that he was right.

I wanted to calm down, but I couldn't. I was so confused and flustered. I had never felt this way about anyone, and yet here I was, freaking out on my best friend and barely able to get my head together. "Fuck, Seth. What is going on? This isn't how I react to things! This isn't who I am!"

Seth pondered that last admission for a minute, then burst out into uproarious laughter. "Jazz, this is EXACTLY who you are. Everything you do in your life, whether it's building houses, surfing, or schooling me in Mario Kart, you do with such intensity. Didn't you ever think that you would love the same way, with the same amount of passion?"

All I could do was sigh. "Seth, I never thought about it. I just never saw myself finding love like this, especially while we were still in high school. I mean, I never pictured myself living my life alone, but having something this big? I just didn't expect it. It's too surreal."

"Well, now it's here, right in front of you. I guess the big question is, are you going to reach out and take it, or are you going to let the guy who could possibly be the great love of your life just leave without ever knowing how you feel? I don't know, Jazz, seems kind of ridiculous to me."

**********

After two more hours of pouring my heart out, and then kicking Seth's ass in Mario Kart (as always), I find myself back in bed under the covers. I looked at Seth sleeping peacefully on my leather couch and realized he was right; I never should have let Edward leave like I did. I should have rushed to the door to stop him and told him that no matter what had happened in the past, we had each other now, and that was all that mattered.

But even now, I wondered. Did I have what it takes to be Edward's boyfriend? Could I love him unconditionally the way he deserved? Could I pretend that his past with Eric didn't matter to me, even though the thought of him with another guy ripped my heart out?

I needed a sign, something to point me in the right direction and give me some cosmic insight. I reached onto my nightstand and flicked on my clock radio, hoping to find peace. What I found was Jason Mraz:

_**So I won't hesitate no more,  
No more, it cannot wait I'm sure  
There's no need to complicate our time is short  
This is our fate  
I'm yours **_

Well, if that's not proof of the planets being aligned, then I don't know what is. This was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right moment. I needed a sign and by some miracle, Top 40 radio had given it to me. With a long sigh and a full heart, I reached for my phone and began to type.

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**OK...I hope this little chapter cleared things up a bit about where Jasper's heart is. See...he's just as neurotic as Edward is, he just doesn't express it as much. But, his heart is most definitely in the right place. Let me know what you think! XOXO! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: ****So, I'll bet you were all surprised to get an update from me so soon, huh?? Well, I had a lot of this chapter written already, but then the rest just came to me the other day and I had to get it down. Hope you all like it!!  
**

**As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie (C-Me-Smile) and Michelle (congrats on the new little man in your life, sweets!!). They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! OH, and if you haven't checked out Christie's brilliant fic, _Begin Again_, run and read it now. There are no words!**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)

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**

I left Jasper's house in a fog, still not really sure what had happened. I hadn't planned on getting mad and then confessing my love for him, it just sort of happened. And now, the ball was entirely in his court. All I could do was wait for him to contact me…and I hated waiting. As I walked aimlessly home, I realized that I wasn't ready to face my family yet, not with fresh tears flowing down my face. So, I went to our place, the place we met, the only place where things seemed to make sense.

When I got to the playground, it was thankfully empty. I took a seat at the picnic table and let my face fall into my hands. I didn't have any tears left right now, but that didn't make my heart any lighter. I already missed him. He hadn't even officially broken up with me yet, and I already felt the void without him. How crazy is that? Two weeks prior I didn't know him, and now facing life without him, I couldn't breathe.

I was so caught up in my wallowing that I didn't notice the soft footsteps that approached me from behind.

"Um, Edward?"

_Fuck. This was the last thing I needed right now. _

I turned around and looked at her suspiciously, not sure what to make of the now shy girl walking towards me. "Yeah, Lauren? What do you want?" All I could do was sigh; I didn't have the energy for anything else.

She smiled slightly and started walking towards me. "You come here to think, too, huh? Whenever I need to clear my head, I come out here, hop on a swing, and try and wish my troubles away. Pretty lame, I know."

"Nah, it's cool. So, really what do you want? I thought you said enough last night."

"Yeah, about that. Edward, I am so sorry about the way I acted. I had way too much to drink and was sad about my situation." She walked over to the nearest swing, sat down, and began swirling her feet in the sand. "I love him, ya know? I always have."

I let out a sigh and nodded in understanding. "I know."

"I always thought that he would come back to me. Then I saw the way he looked at you, which is exactly the same way I look at him; and I knew. He would never be coming back again. What I thought we had was officially over."

"Lauren, Jasper's gay. I think what you once had was over a long time ago."

She was looking down at her feet now, unable or unwilling to look me in the eye. "Please don't get the wrong idea about me. I know that Jasper being gay isn't a choice he made; that it's part of who he is, like his fantastic blue eyes or his smile. My brain knows that. Still, my heart wonders if I just wasn't enough. That's the part I can't handle."

"You're right, being gay is in his makeup, that's just the way it is. But, it absolutely has nothing to do with whether or not you were enough for him. It's about what he needs. And yeah, it sucks that he realized who he was and owned up to his sexuality while you were together. I mean, I'm sure he regrets that. But you just have to believe that he did the best he could and forgive him for that."

"I know, and I promise that I'm working on it. I just wasn't really ready for him to fall in love. But I can tell he has. He loves you, Edward. Anyway, I just hope that maybe you and I can start over? I'm sure we'll see each other a lot this summer and I just don't want any more weirdness. So, can we try to be friends?"

I had to smile in spite of myself. She was trying so hard that I just had to give in. "Sure, we can try." She smiled politely at me and went back to staring at her feet in the sand. Just then, I heard a familiar BlackBerry chirp. Jasper! I jumped and reached for my phone. Maybe Lauren was right. Maybe he did love me!

"It's mine," she said, scrolling through her new message. My heart sank again and my face plummeted to my hands again. "Well, I have to go meet the girls at Bella's house. Thanks for the talk, Edward. You know, if I can't have Jasper, I'm glad he has someone like you."

"Thanks. Oh, and for the record, Lauren? The way Jasper was looking at me, well, that's the same way Mike looks at you. I know you may not be ready for someone new, but it seems like he's a good guy who crazy about you. Maybe give him a chance?"

She flashed me a happy smile and pondered the thought. "Yeah, maybe I will. I mean, what's the worst that can happen, right? Goodnight, Edward." With that, she was gone, and I was alone with my thoughts again.

After what felt like too much time alone, I decided to head home and face the curious looks from my family. I couldn't avoid them forever. And, to be honest, I needed to take my mind off of what I was feeling, even for just a little bit.

**********

I walked in the door and headed up the stairs, ready to answer whatever questions they had. But instead, the great room was empty. I quickly made a beeline for my room, kicked off my flip-flops and threw my phone onto the bed. As I made my way back to the kitchen, I saw an empty bottle of Seagram's Sweet Tea vodka on the counter, and next to it, and half-kicked bottle of La Crema chardonnay. From the sounds of uproarious laughter coming from the back deck, apparently my family had decided to tie one on in my absence. So, I grabbed the first glass I saw, and made my way out back. Vodka was exactly what I needed.

I swung open the sliding screen door and my mother, laughing hysterically, almost fell off her lounge chair. There they were, my family, the always tailored and perfect Cullens, completely wasted and playing Clue on the back deck.

"Little Brother!!!" Rosalie was the first to notice me and flew out of her chair, pitcher in hand. "Sweet tea vodka and lemonade, drink up!"

"Thanks, Doll." I poured myself a full glass and took at seat at the table. "So, Mom, having fun? Miss Scarlett with the knife in the dining room?"

"I swear, this woman is a master at this! Eddie, she's won every time!" Emmett nearly knocked over the board as he stood up and made his way over to me, topping off my glass that was now half empty.

"It's because I'm a brilliant businesswoman, dear! And, you know how La Crema heightens my deductive reasoning skills!" She was, in fact, a brilliant businesswoman, but she still hadn't quite figured out yet that, since this was her favorite game, we usually let her win.

Finally able to relax a bit, with the help of several full glasses, I let myself go and had a blast with my family. I always thought that being part of this crazy family was a burden. I mean, to the outside observer, the Cullens are perfect; we have money, all the right connections, and (if I don't say so myself) we are pretty easy on the eyes. But that always felt constricting, like I had to live up to the expectations set by those who knew us, or knew of us. I was suffocating. My intent was to break out of the Cullen shell and be my own man. My dad and Emmett were both doctors; I wouldn't be. We were part of the Philadelphia social scene; I would move away and start over somewhere new. But, then nights like this happen, and I realize that I am just as crazy as they are, and that this is exactly where I belong.

_I'm a Cullen. I'm Edward Fucking Cullen._

**********

At about midnight, I decided I'd had enough and it was time to pack it in. I stumbled into my room and flopped onto my bed. I was too tired and drunk to get changed, so I just pulled the covers over my head.

I lay there in the bed embracing the darkness and thinking about the journey my life had taken. Ten short days ago, I was preparing to leave home for the month and was spending my last night with Eric.

_On my way to Eric's house, I found myself both anxious and, admittedly, horny as hell. It had been four days since we were last together, which was an eternity in teen life. I couldn't believe that I was leaving him for so long, and my strong emotions just floored me. I'd been taking this vacation every year since I was born, so we were used to spending the month of August apart, but this time it was different. Not only was I leaving my best friend behind, but my lover too. Yep, I was in for a long month of cold showers and quality time with my right hand while I thought about him fucking me in every way imaginable. _

_My mind drifted to the last time we were together and I felt the car speed up and my dick harden, straining in the confines of my shorts. By the time I pulled into Eric's driveway, my mind and body were in overdrive. Thank God his parents were away and the house was ours, because I had no intention of being quiet tonight. _

_I ran up his front stairs two-by-two and quickly rang the doorbell. It took all of 30 seconds for me to hear the sound of footsteps moving quickly towards me. The door flew open, and there he was, dressed in a black fitted tank top and low-rise jeans._

Fuck me. No, really, fuck me now.

_He grabbed hold of me, pulled me into his living room and crashed his lips to mine. This was not the time for a slow, languid experience. We both wanted a quick and powerful release, and that was what we were going to get. _

_Our mouths and tongues were all over each other as I pushed us forward until the backs of his knees hit the sofa. Once we stopped moving, our hands took over and our clothes were shed in record time. God, I loved the feeling of being naked with him. There was nothing like it. _

_Eric turned me around so his hard cock was pressed firmly against my ass. He leaned in, licked up my neck, and panted in my ear. "Fuck, I love that you were already hard for me. I've been thinking about bending you over this couch all day."_

"_Ugh! Just fuck me, please. You have no idea how much I need this."_

_Eric kissed his way down my neck and then backed away from me. I let out a momentary sigh at the loss of contact, but quickly realized that he was walking around me to reach down and grab the lube and condom that were already on the couch. Always the planner. "You had no intention of letting me get past this room did you?"_

"_Hell no. I wanted you right here. Grab the blanket." I took the throw off the arm of the sectional and folded it over the back of the sofa in front of me. I leaned forward and my body tingled with anticipation as I heard the condom being unwrapped behind me. Just then, I felt Eric's hands return to my back. He ran his fingers down until they reached my ass. He moved in kissed up and down my spine as I felt his hands knead my ass and then push my legs further apart. _

_My breath sped up as I heard him flip open the bottle. A loud moan escaped my lips as I felt Eric's slick finger enter me. He continued kissing my back as he inserted another finger and began pumping me. I thrust my ass back into him, craving him and not being able to wait another second. "Now, just fuck me now. Please."_

_In a flash, his fingers left me and I felt his dick at my entrance. He grabbed a hold of my hips and pushed in, slowly filling me and driving me crazy. I knew I wouldn't last long, but, to be honest, I didn't want to. I just wanted him to work his magic on me. "Eric…harder…faster…"_

_He slowly pulled out almost all the way and then plunged back in. I felt it in my toes and I cried out. "That's the way you want it?" All I could do was grunt in response as he thrust in and out of me, slamming me hard. His words were incoherent as he fucked me faster and faster. As I felt the familiar tingling sensation start to build, I reached down and grabbed my dick. Eric leaned further down into me, our slick bodies inseparable, as he continued his movements. I pumped my cock in time with his thrusts and it wasn't long before I felt myself going over the edge. "Fuck, Edward…so close….gonna come!" And with one final push into me, his body stilled and I felt his dick throbbing and he shot inside me. I followed right after him, filling my own hand with hot cum and feeling relaxed for the first time that day. _

_After our bodies and breathing returned to normal, Eric pulled out of me, threw away the condom and pulled his jeans back on. He walked to the kitchen and disappeared for a minute for two. I quickly used the blanket in front of me to clean myself up and get dressed. I flopped down on the couch, relaxing on the pile of pillows in the corner. Eric came back with a two beers, handed me one, and sat on the floor in front of me. "You really want to go away for a whole month?" He took a long pull on his beer. "Think about what you'll be missing, my friend."_

"_Ugh. Let's not talk about it." I flicked on the TV and we fell into our usual conversation. It was easy; always had been. That was the most amazing part of our current arrangement: we could fuck like we needed each other to breathe, and yet, just be able to hang out. There wasn't an emotional pull, just pure physical pleasure; pleasure that I would sorely miss while I was away._

_After about an hour, Eric looked at me playfully and said, "A hundred bucks says you'll meet someone."_

"_What? No way."_

"_Don't be so sure. I just have a feeling that you are going to come home a changed man. I think this could be it for you."_

"_Dude, not a chance! I am going away with my family. And even if I do get out, it's not exactly a gay hotspot. Trust me, you'll be hooking up before me."_

_Eric just laughed. "Hundred bucks."_

"_You're on, smart boy."_

_The next hour went by quickly. We played around more, sucking each other off and just generally enjoying being together. While I knew we weren't in love or committed, I knew we would miss each other, and that made me a bit sad. I was starting to feel a sense of loss. _

_We got dressed for the second time and he walked me out. "Call and text whenever. You know I'm just going to be here, probably jacking off thinking of nights like this." He winked at me and playfully punched me in the arm. _

"_Don't worry, you won't be the only one." I grabbed his face and pulled him close for a long, intense kiss. Before things got heated and I ended up on his couch again, I broke away. "See you in 30 days."_

**********

I rolled over and reached for my nightstand to grab my phone. I needed to talk to someone about the clusterfuck that my life had become, and it might as well be him. It was then that I realized my phone wasn't there. Where the fuck was it?? I turned on the light, shook out the covers and didn't see it. On the verge of giving up and just waiting until morning, I leaned over the edge of my bed and saw my phone lying face up on the carpet. The red light was flashing.

Quickly, I scooped up the phone, dying to know what message had come through. Could it be? I hit the center trackball and the screen came to life. My breath hitched. There it was, a text from Jasper. I clicked on the message and just stared at the words before me.

_**I think I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you. Can I still come over tomorrow?**_

I let out a long sigh and couldn't stifle the smile that broadened across my face. He loved me. We loved each other. I hadn't lost him. I quickly responded, not wanting to waste another minute.

**Be here at 6.

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So, there it is...the Edward/Eric action that so many of you were looking forward to. What did you think? As fun as you thought it would be? ;) And so many of you were dying to know what was in Jasper's text...I hope it lived up to the hype! XOXO! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: OK, I just want to apologize to all of you who reviewed my last chapter...I am so sorry that I didn't do replies. Life just got crazy around here and I just didn't have the chance. But, I promise that I read all of them and will be better with this latest chapter. ****  
**

**As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie (C-Me-Smile) and Michelle. They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! OH, and if you haven't checked out Christie's brilliant fic, _Begin Again_, run and read it now!!  
**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)

* * *

**

My eyes fluttered open and I looked at the blurry numbers on the clock: 7:25. "Ugh…too early," I sighed as I rolled back over and threw the covers over my head. I was only slightly feeling the effects of the Cullen debauchery last night and I could tell that no one else was awake in the house yet, not even Alice. I shut my eyes again, wanting to try and go back to sleep, but then I thought of him and started to feel anxious and excited.

_Jasper._

I reached out from the covers and grabbed my phone, reading and re-reading his text. I couldn't believe he loved me and that he still wanted to see me tonight. I had no idea what I would say to him or how it would all go, but just the thought of him being here with me was making me unravel in the best way imaginable.

As I was re-reading the text for the fifth time or so, my BlackBerry chirped and another text came through…from him.

_**Look outside.**_

What? I crawled out of bed and opened the sliding door. As I stepped out onto the balcony in only my boxers, there he was, standing in my driveway leaning against my car. He smiled up and me and shrugged. "I couldn't wait until 6. You up for breakfast?"

I beamed at him and ran my hand through my hair, nervously. "Just give me a second." I tried not to look too excited as I dashed back into my room and threw on some clothes. Quickly, I brushed my teeth, slipped on my flip-flops, and ran into the kitchen to leave a note for my family. In no time at all, I was out the door and face to face with him.

"Want to walk to the Pier? I have some time before I have to be at work."

"Sounds like a plan. Lead the way."

We walked the two blocks to the restaurant by the bay in near silence. I didn't really know what to say to him. I wanted to pull him into my arms and never let him go, but I knew we weren't really there yet, and anything we did after last night would have to be taken slowly, when we were both ready.

Jasper led the way up the stairs to the hostess desk and asked for a table outside. This was perfect; I loved eating out here in the morning sun. How'd he know that about me? We sat across from each other, still not knowing what exactly to say. Conversation started to flow, but in a casual way, with us talking about the weather and his upcoming day at work. Just then, his mother came over to our table and interrupted our small talk. "Hey Darlin'! What brings you here this morning?" She was glowing looking at him, but when she looked at me, I saw her stiffen, like she was instantly uncomfortable.

"Just here for a quick breakfast, Mom. You remember Edward, right?"

"Sure, from last night. Good morning, Edward." She smiled politely at me and then directed her attention back to her son. "What can I get you boys today?"

"Let's just start with the two largest mugs of coffee you can find." I didn't mind that Jasper ordered for both of us. Coffee was exactly what I needed this morning. I was partially hung over and my mind was clouded with all my emotions. A vat of coffee was just what the doctor ordered.

"Sure thing, Darlin'." She tousled his hair before leaving us again.

I watched her leave and move onto another table. She was so light and free with everyone else, I just didn't understand why she wasn't like that with me. Could it be that she wasn't as comfortable with Jasper's sexuality as I thought she was? "She really loves you, you know. I can tell. Are you two close?"

Jasper quietly pondered this question as his mother brought our coffee and took our order. As he poured creamer into his mug, he looked up at me and shrugged. "I guess we're close. I don't know, I think I have more of a thing going on with my dad. He's just easier I guess."

He looked sad at that moment and I could tell I needed to lighten the mood a bit. "So, you sure you're ready to take on Little Alice with me tonight? She can be quite a handful."

He beamed at me and seemed instantly excited. "Oh, I think I can handle that. It will be fun! Where is your family going tonight, anyway?"

"My parents are taking Rose and Emmett out for dinner and gambling in Atlantic City. They have reservations at Ruth's Cris Steak House, and then after that, they'll probably head over to the Borgata to play for a bit and maybe catch a show. I have no idea. I actually like it when they head out for the night. It's nice to be on my own and have the place to myself for a change."

"I can see that about you."

"Yeah, I guess I can come off as kind of a loner, huh? Is that weird?" I looked down at the plate of cinnamon French toast that was now in front of me and started to eat, feeling at bit self-conscious and not wanting to make eye contact right away.

I felt his foot touch mine and I immediately looked up and he was staring at me with a slight smile on his face. "Not weird at all. I'm actually really looking forward to a nice evening alone with you." Now it was his turn to blush.

"Me too."

We quickly finished our breakfast, said goodbye to Renee, and set out for my house again. Jasper said he wanted to walk me home before going to work, and I certainly wasn't going to argue. The walk back was relatively silent, like earlier, but this time it was more relaxed, more peaceful. When we reached my house, I walked to the garage and entered the code to open the door. I thought Jasper would have stopped at my car and said a quick goodbye, but he didn't, he followed me into the garage.

Once inside, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him, up against the wall. He looked deeply into my eyes and slowly raised his hands to cup my face. "I've been dying to do this all morning." He closed the distance between us quickly and kissed me. I eagerly opened my mouth for him and sighed into the kiss. It was deep and passionate, but at the same time, so gentle and loving.

I could have stayed like that for hours, but I knew that we both had things to do today, so I pulled back first, catching my breath. "Baby, you know I could stand here and kiss you all day, but you need to get to work and I have to get inside."

He leaned into me and I kissed his forehead. "I know. I really should go. Duty calls."

"Think about it this way, the sooner we get on with our day, the sooner you will be back here and we can have time alone to just be together. Oh, and I hope you pack a bag. I'm telling my parents that you are crashing here tonight."

Jasper's face lit up at the suggestion that he spend the night. "That sounds amazing. OK…I'm going." He turned to leave, but then flew back around and crashed his lips into mine. He moaned deeply into me before pulling away again. "I just needed one more."

"I know the feeling. Now go!" I pushed him out the garage door and laughed as he turned back to wink at me before heading on his way. I shut the door and bounded up the stairs two-by-two feeling happy and weightless. Tonight would be perfect; I just knew it.

**********

At about 5:45 pm, our house was chaotic as my family was getting ready to leave and I had a major attack of the butterflies. Not only were my parents about to meet Jasper for the first time, but he was also going to spend the night with me. This was a major first for us. I wanted it more than anything, but part of me was still questioning if we were ready for this. After much internal debate, I decided to let it all go and just follow my heart and see where we ended up.

Yep, that was the plan.

Rose was in the middle of going over Alice's nighttime routine for the hundredth time when I heard the doorbell ring. My chest tightened and I couldn't move. Thankfully, no one noticed my temporary paralysis and Emmett ran down to let Jasper in.

Both men came walking up the stairs and into the kitchen, and seeing Jasper there among my family made my heart swell. I quickly walked over to him and made the introductions. Everyone was gracious and welcoming. He got a hearty handshake from my dad and a big hug from Rose, who picked up Alice so she could meet Jasper on his level. He had an instant connection with her, I could tell. Seeing them all together and talking like they've known each other forever, I have to admit that my mind wondered. Was this the way my life could go? Could I be happy and in love and have that be OK with my family? Would they accept us being together and Jasper as part of our family?

I watched my mother as everyone was interacting with Jasper, and was surprised by her demeanor. She was always warm and inviting, but she seemed different. She had a slight smirk on her face and was looking as Jasper like she was sizing him up. What was this about? What did she have up her sleeve? My eye caught hers and she gave me a glowing smile as she went over and introduced herself and gave Jasper a big, motherly hug.

Not 15 minutes later, my family was out the door and Jasper and I were alone with Alice. I wanted to keep the evening as low-key as possible (well, low-key for now), so I put in a Backyardigans DVD, called and ordered the pizza, and the three of us curled up on the couch with Alice in my lap. I couldn't help stealing glances at Jasper. He seemed really content and at home here with my family and I loved that.

After the first episode ended, Alice quickly jumped from my lap to Jasper's. "Tea!" She squealed at him and started to giggle as she slid off his lap and took his hand, tugging for him to get up too.

"Uh-oh, Jas, you're in for it now, tea time with Alice!" She grabbed my hand too, and we both followed her over to her baby table and chairs where her princess tea set was awaiting our little party. Jasper and I took our seats on either side of Alice, and she served us our invisible tea with so much grace, like the perfect little hostess. She began babbling to both of us while sipping her tea, and it was then that I felt Jasper's barefoot run up my calf and between my legs. Thankfully, our hostess didn't notice as I let out a soft sigh before pushing my chair out a bit so I was out of reach.

"Never get frisky at Miss Cullen's table!" I whispered to Jas, and he bit his lip to keep from laughing. A few minutes later, the doorbell interrupted our little gathering. Jasper started to get up, but instead, Alice pretended to refill his teacup; poor guy was trapped.

"Don't worry, I got it." I asked Alice if I could be excused (Alice is very big on manners at her table), and went downstairs to get the pizza. When I came back up, I was utterly amazed by what I was looking at. In the time it took for me to run downstairs, pay, and bring dinner back up, Alice had wrapped Jasper up in a pink feather boa and put his gorgeous curls up in Hello Kitty barrettes. I couldn't help it, I just laughed out loud at him as I put the pizza box on the island.

He looked up at me with a stunned expression. "Edward, this is my father's worst nightmare," he deadpanned.

I was now rolling with laughter, which was apparently contagious because Alice started giggling too. "Aww…but, Baby, you are so, so lovely!"

"Funny, man. Really funny."

Alice began clapping and jumping in her seat. "Pretty Jasper!!"

It was time for me to save my guy, so I wiped the tears of laughter off my cheek and composed myself. "OK, Pumpkin, dinner's ready. Let's wash our hands and get to the table." Alice obediently followed as Jasper began shedding the evidence of his toddler makeover, taking a moment to look at me with a sheepish smile and shrug his shoulders. He was so great with her and I just wanted to run over and hug him. I knew he was a bit embarrassed right now, but to me, he was perfect.

**********

I came back upstairs from putting Alice to bed, turned on the baby monitor, and walked back to the couch. Jasper was lying on his back facing the TV and laughing at whatever he had turned on. I didn't even notice. I walked around to the front of the couch and climbed up on top of him, straddling his legs and pinning him down. I felt his dick start to harden in his shorts, and mine responded in kind. He stopped laughing and, looking up at me with lust in his eyes, slowly ran his hands under my shirt and up my chest.

I couldn't wait any longer.

I leaned down, putting my hands on the back of the sofa armrest, and kissed him. Our tongues found each other instantly and as they did, my hips began to grind against him. We moaned into each other and our kiss became more passionate. Jasper put his arms around me and growled into our kiss when the movement of my hips created an incendiary friction between us.

My lips left his and moved to his neck and up nibble on his earlobes. "God, I can't wait to feel all of you," I purred and licked up his neck again, tasting the salty sweat that was slightly dampening his curls.

He was panting, his hips moving against mine. "Take me to your bed, Edward."

I didn't need to be told twice. I hopped off of him and took his hand, leading him to my bedroom. We were in constant contact, kissing each other hungrily as we made the short journey to the other end of the hall.

My room was dark with the exception of the light creeping in from the hallway. As we made our way into the room, I set the baby monitor onto my dresser and then quickly continued pushing Jasper backward towards my bed. Once the back of his knees hit the side of the bed, I reached down and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. I needed it off him, as I was craving skin-on-skin contact. He raised his arms and I removed his shirt quickly, then he responded by slipping mine off as well. Once we were both shirtless, he pulled me closer to him and kissed me deeply again. Placing both of his hands on the side of my face, he pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. "Shorts…off…now" he breathlessly demanded as we each began fumbling for each other's zippers.

A few seconds later, we were both completely naked and kissing frantically, pulling each other as close as we could be. Jasper then grabbed a hold of me and spun me around, pushing me down onto the bed. I slid on my back and made my way so I was resting on my pillows by the headboard, pulling him with me as I went. More than anything, I wanted the feeling of him between my legs without the hindrance of clothing. He put all of his weight on me and when our throbbing cocks moved against each other, my whole body felt like it was on fire, like I could explode at any moment.

I loved the feeling of having him naked and covering me. Although we were kissing each other with great intensity, I wanted to slow down and see exactly where he wanted to go. I pulled away and looked into his smoldering eyes. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you, all of you. I want you to be mine."

Jasper broke our eye contact and began kissing his way down my body. I thought he would never get to where I so desperately wanted him to be, as he slowly licked his way down my neck and then my chest, stopping along the way to gently tease both of my nipples with the tip of his tongue. I groaned loudly and bucked my hips up as my pleasure was rapidly building. If he kept this up, I wouldn't last long.

He continued his slow descent down my body, licking his way down to my bellybutton. He placed butterfly kissed all over my lower abdomen as he followed my happy trail down to my throbbing dick that was now aching for him. I pushed myself up on my elbows, not wanting to miss a moment of watching him; he was that amazing. He looked up at me and smirked before licking his lips and running his tongue from the base of my dick to the head, all in one fluid motion. Once he got to my tip, he ran his tongue over my slit and lapped up the pre-cum he found there. "Mmmm, Baby, you taste so good."

"C'mon, Jas, take all of it. Please."

He gave my head a gentle kiss before pumping me twice and then taking all of me into his mouth. He started sucking me slowly while running his tongue up and down my entire length. Instinctively, my hips thrust up towards his mouth. I wanted to be deeper. He grabbed my dick and stroked it as he descended on me again, closing his lips around me and sucking harder. He continued his delicious assault on me as my orgasm came closer and closer. My whole body felt tight and I knew I was on the brink of losing all control.

It was at that moment that I felt a wet finger enter me and start pumping. I cried out his name as I fisted the sheets under me. My whole body was writhing now and completely under his control. Jasper's movements were slow at first, but then he sped up, finger-fucking me in earnest while creating a tight suction around my dick. It was too much. I exploded into his mouth and he swallowed everything I gave him, pulling his finger out and massaging my hips and thighs as I let my orgasm take me.

As my breathing returned to normal, I pulled him up to me and kissed him, loving the taste of myself on his lips and in his mouth. "Fuck, that was amazing, Baby" I purred at him and we breathed in deeply together. Our bodies were in perfect sync with each other and I wanted to take it further. I was ready to give him all of me.

I felt his rock hard cock against my belly and I knew this was my moment. I kissed him deeply letting my lips convey how much I wanted him. I nibbled my way to his ear and asked breathlessly, "Top or bottom?"

He turned slightly, looked deep into my eyes and moaned his answer. "Top."

I smiled at him before pulling him close and kissing him again. "Fuck, I was hoping you were going to say that." I swiftly moved us so he was on his back and I was straddling him. Jasper looked up at me with lust-filled eyes and just then, I knew that this was perfect. This was our moment, where everything was about to change. I couldn't wait any longer.

I leaned over him and reached into my nightstand drawer pulling out a condom and a small bottle of lube. He smirked at me and laughed, that intoxicating Jasper laugh. "You knew you were going to get me in your bed tonight, didn't you?"

I shrugged and looked sheepishly back at him. "I was hoping you would want this as much as I did. So, I wanted to be prepared." I returned to my straddling position and crashed my lips to his. Our breathing was speeding up and becoming erratic. "You ready, Baby? You want me?"

"Fuck yes!"

"OK…just close your eyes. Relax and let yourself feel all of me and what I am about to do to you."

He let out a long sigh and did as I told him. I opened the condom and slowly rolled it on his now-throbbing dick. He bucked his hips up into me and moaned. I smiled contently as I coated the condom with lube, preparing him for me. Once we were both ready, I lifted myself off of him, made sure I was perfectly aligned, and then slowly pushed down. With his eyes still shut, he cried out, feeling himself entering me inch by inch.

I wanted to take it slowly, wanted to savor every second, but Jasper had other ideas. He grabbed my hips and thrust upwards. "Fuck…just…fuck!" I cried out as he filled me entirely.

Our motions stilled for a minute as we both relished the feeling of finally being connected this way. His hips lowered slowly as I leaned down to kiss him. Jasper broke our kiss and pushed me back up. "I want to watch you while you ride me. C'mon, baby." I could deny him nothing. I started moving back and forth, riding him and guiding his dick with my movements. I found my perfect angle quickly and Jasper's cock was soon hitting me repeatedly in all the right places, making me cry out in sheer ecstasy.

Once we saw the effect he was having on me, Jasper took over, thrusting up into me over and over. I couldn't believe how effortless this was, the way our bodies moved together; how we fit so naturally. I had never seen anything so beautiful as the sight of him lying beneath me, our bodies dancing in perfect sync.

I watched him intently as he fucked me from beneath, not wanting to miss one moment of how he looked as his body moved within me. As he continued hitting all the right places, I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. "So close. Fuck, don't stop!" I was about to reach down and pump my own dick, which by now was begging for its release, but Jasper held on to me and picked up his pace. Before I knew what was happening, I came harder than I ever had, shooting cum all over his chest.

That was all it took for Jasper to fall off the edge as well. "Edward! Fuck!" He cried out and I felt his dick throb inside me as he rode out his own orgasm.

My body was drained of all its energy and I collapsed on top of him, my head resting on his shoulder. He kissed me on my neck and we stayed like that for a few minutes, neither one of us ready to break our contact. Finally, I pushed off of him and walked to the bathroom, where I disposed of the condom and got a towel to clean him up with. When I got back to the bed, Jasper still hadn't moved. He was just lying there on his back, looking perfectly content.

I cleaned him off and crawled into bed next to him, bringing the covers up over our waists. The light breeze of the ceiling fan above us was both cooling and calming me at the same time. I turned onto my stomach and felt Jasper's hand reach over and lightly scratch my back. I just sighed and took it all in, not daring to speak. This was the most peaceful moment of my life, and I never wanted it to end.

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**A/N #2: A special thanks goes out to my soul sister, Rhenea, for reviewing this chapter before I posted. You are the best, Sweets!! Thanks for calming my fears and total embarrassment. **blush**  
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**So, I wanted their first time to be FANTASTIC! What did you think? I hope you all loved it!! :) XOXO!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: OMG! I can't believe that my little fic actually made it to 500 reviews!!! You guys are all beyond amazing!! Thanks so much for coming on this ride with me. ****  
**

**As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie (C-Me-Smile) and Michelle. They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! OH, and if you haven't checked out Christie's brilliant fic, _Begin Again_, run and read it now!! (Seriously...like NOW! It's gonna get so, so good!!)  
**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)

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**

I wanted our moment of serenity to last, to blanket us as we fell asleep in each other's arms, but I just couldn't help it; I started to laugh. And I didn't just laugh; I completely lost it, laughing until tears were falling from my eyes. In mid-laughter, I kissed him then rolled back over, curling back into my pillow. "That was beyond amazing. Seriously, that has never happened to me before."

Jasper looked at me curiously, with one eyebrow raised. "What never happened? Fits of uncontrollable laughter after sex?"

"No! Baby, you literally fucked the cum right out of me! Shit! That was mind-blowing!"

He started to laugh as well, and then flopped his head back down on his pillow. "Well, I've never done that either. In fact, I've never had anyone ride me before. So, I guess it was a first for both of us. But you're right, it was unreal." He let out a long contented sigh and closed his eyes, returning his hand to my back.

"Jas, did you think it would be like that?"

"I thought it would be great, us having sex for the first time, but I never imagined it would be as all-encompassing as it was. Did you feel that too?"

"There were moments where I felt like I was meant to be with only you; like we were just designed for each other. I know, that sounds really lame, sorry."

"I felt the same way. And Edward, never apologize for telling me how you feel. I want to know everything there is to know about you." He paused for a second, like he wanted to talk about something, but didn't know how to begin. "Speaking of which, can I ask you something?"

I gently pushed a lock of hair to the side of his face and looked into his eyes. "You can ask me anything."

"When you were with Eric, did you always bottom?"

I furrowed my brow a bit, knowing that I had to proceed with caution here. The last thing I wanted to do was have a repeat of last night. I was over the moon with what happened here and I just couldn't go back to us being unsure of each other. "Do you really want to talk about Eric?"

"Yes, Edward. I want to know."

"OK. Well, no, we switched off and on. But, to be honest, I always preferred to bottom, and he liked to top more, so it worked for us. What about you? Have you ever bottomed before?"

"Never. I always saw myself as more of an aggressor. Granted, I don't have tons of experience and I was never in an ongoing sexual relationship before, but the times when I was with guys, it just felt more natural for me to top."

"Would you ever want to try it?"

I saw a light flash in his eyes. I'm not sure, but it looked like happiness with a bit of excitement thrown in, like he was hoping I would ask him that very question. "I would love to try that with you. Definitely." With that, he leaned in and kissed me. "I want to be yours in every way."

**********

We laid there for a while in peaceful silence; just letting the experience of being this close to each other sink in. I watched a ray of moonlight that had crept in through the blinds shine on his back and thought about how lucky I was. He was here with me. We were together, happy, and in love. I felt really together and comfortable in my skin for the first time and I found myself thinking that I never wanted this amazing man to leave my side. Ever.

My body wanted to sleep, but my mind was racing. I had so many thoughts, emotions, and questions swirling inside of me. I'm not sure what made me ask the question I did, but at that moment, I felt compelled to know the answer. "Were you scared when you came out to your parents?"

He looked at me intently, and pondered his answer. "Actually, no, not at all."

"Really, how is that possible?"

"It's a long story. Seriously. You really want to hear it?"

"Of course I do! I want to know everything about you. Please, tell me what happened."

Jasper stared at me for a couple seconds, looking like he was trying to muster up the courage to let me in. I had a lot on my mind about my own situation and, more than anything, I needed to hear his story and what he had been through. I prayed that he would trust me enough to be honest. "OK. Here goes. Ever since I started working for my dad, I knew I had a job lined up right out of high school. He wants me to learn the business from him and then take it over, eventually. So, I decided that my high school plan would be to drink, smoke pot, and fuck girls. Big ambitions, I know."

"Sounds like a good plan to me…well, except for the last part." We both got a brief chuckle, but he quickly got serious again and continued his story.

"Everything was going great. Seth and I met Jacob and Mike and the four of us just went crazy. We partied all the time and attracted the hottest girls in school. They all wanted us."

"I'll bet."

Jasper let out a long, cleansing sigh. "Then came the first time I fucked a girl, her name was Clarissa, and she was beyond adorable. Not only was she gorgeous, but just the sweetest thing imaginable. I wanted her for so long, but when I actually got her in bed, things just seemed off, like what I was doing was wrong. I thought it was just me and that I was having an off night or something, so, we tried again…several times, in fact. It never got better.

I couldn't understand what was happening to me. I mean, fucking girls was the major part of the high school plan, and it wasn't working. So, I tried again. I fucked a string of random girls, thinking that each one would be the girl to turn the situation around. But nothing worked and nothing made sense. That was when I got together with Lauren."

I could see he was getting unnerved a bit, so I reached out and laced my fingers in his. "And, you thought Lauren would be the answer?"

"I really did. I put all my effort into our relationship, into falling for her and making her fall for me. For all intents and purposes, we were really happy, except when it came to sex. She wanted it all the time, and I just couldn't make it work. I knew something was missing, that I would never be able to give her what she wanted, but for some reason, I stayed with her.

"At the same time, I stopped repressing my attraction for guys, and started thinking about what that meant. Why did I have the best orgasm of my life with Lauren…while I was thinking about that hot guy with the dimples from my art class? Did this make me gay or bi? What was I? Where do I go from here?"

"Fuck, Baby, that must have been torture for you." I raised our still-clasped hands to my lips and gave his a kiss. I wanted him to know that I was here, loving him and supporting him through his confession.

"You have no idea. My world, my plan, was unraveling and I didn't know how to make sense of anything. But, I continued to try with Lauren, for the next six months. That was when I met Tyler and everything changed. After my crazy one night with him in the restaurant, I just knew; fucking a guy was right. My body came alive and for the first time, I felt like I had finally figured out who I was. The problem was, even with this new knowledge, I was far from happy. I had to break up with Lauren and accept the fact that everything that I had aspired to be was changing. How would anyone be able to accept me? Would I lose all my friends? God, what would Seth think?

"Anyway, I gave some lame-ass excuse and broke up with Lauren. Then I just disappeared for a while. I stopped hanging out with my friends and began hitting the books, if you can believe it. Seth knew me well enough to know what something wasn't right, and after a month or so, he confronted me. Edward, I just lost it, totally broke down and confessed everything to him, knowing that I would probably lose him forever."

"But he loves you, how could you think he wouldn't be your best friend anymore? I mean, isn't being someone's best friend mean that you are there no matter how fucked up the other person is?"

Jasper actually laughed and leaned in and kissed me. "God, you and Seth are so much alike! Obviously, he stayed my best friend. He told me he loved me no matter what and that he would always be there. Seth got me through everything. Then, one night, when he was over for dinner, I just blurted it out to my parents. I wasn't scared because at that exact moment, I didn't have any emotions left. I had gone through so much internal agony, that I was just incapable of feeling anything."

"God, you just announced that you were gay? What did they do?"

"Um, well, at first, the just looked at me like I had five heads. Then they went back to eating, like that was the only thing they could focus on. And they avoided looking at either Seth or myself for the rest of the meal, until he and I left the table and went up to my room. In hindsight, they probably thought we were together or something."

"I can't even believe it went down like that! I mean, really, they just finished eating and said nothing?? That is first-rate avoidance if I've ever heard it. So, then what happened?" It was like a movie I couldn't get enough of. I was riveted by his story and was hanging on his every word. Would this be what my family would do? No, probably not. We were Cullens! Mom would drink more wine and then laugh it off, while Dad would quickly change the subject and start talking about testosterone-filled subjects like porn and NASCAR with Emmett, who would slowly move his chair away from mine. That sounds more like it. Awesome.

Jasper brought me out of my ridiculous fantasy and continued. "Edward, what I said in the living room with Alice earlier was completely true. I think my father thought I would come down the next morning in a feather boa, lip syncing to Beyonce."

"Beyonce? Really? I was thinking more like twirling to The Carpenters."

"Fuck you."

"Didn't you just do that?"

"Touché." He laughed and shook his head at me before continuing his story. "Anyway, when I came down the next morning in my old cami shorts and frayed t-shirt blasting Linkin Park on my iPod, he realized that I might just be the same kid after all. And after I put in my usual 12-hour day, he came up to me as I was walking to my Jeep, patted me on the back, and said that it was all OK. That was the last time he and I discussed it…until now."

That made me nervous. What if he didn't like me? "And, what has he said to you? Is he disappointed?"

"Not at all. He asked me if I was happy, and I told him that I was, that I've never been happier. He was totally cool with it."

"Your mom hates me, though. I can tell."

He thought about this for a minute before answering. I couldn't tell if he was trying to let me down gently, or if he was really confused about this as well. I waited anxiously for him to continue. "No, she doesn't hate you. She just doesn't know how to deal with everything."

"But, she barely looks at me. It's like she can't stand the sight of me, or something. I have no idea what I did to make her feel this way."

Jasper leaned in and placed a gentle, reassuring kiss on my forehead. "Edward, you didn't do anything, I promise. This is just her way of dealing with everything. After I came out at dinner, effectively ruining her meatloaf, she didn't talk to me for three days. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't think she even made eye contact with me. It was like she didn't know what to do with me, like suddenly I wasn't her kid anymore."

"Jesus."

"But then, she slowly came around and things went back to normal. Now, though, she's come face to face with the reality of the situation. You are the first boyfriend I've ever brought home, the first person I've ever been serious about. I don't think she really knew how that would feel. Here's the thing with my mom: she's feeling a sense of loss; a loss of what could have been. And, she's not handling that well."

"I don't get it. What has she lost? She still has you, doesn't she?"

"Of course she does. She always will. But, she had big dreams for me. She thought I would settle down with a great girl and then she'd get to do all the girly things that go along with it; you know, wedding planning, spa days, shopping trips to New York, pink champagne, grandkids, stuff like that. But now, she is looking at the reality of my life and realizing that she won't get to do any of that. It makes her sad, I guess. I suppose I understand it, in a way. I just wish she could see beyond herself and really look at how things are going for me; that I'm happy, well-adjusted (OK, sort of), and still the same kid."

"I'm so sorry, Baby. But, doesn't she realize that she can still have a wedding and grandkids, and all the stuff that goes with it? It may not the same, but still, it can happen."

"I don't think it's really on her radar right now. And besides, to her, it probably wouldn't be the same. But, you know what, it's OK. It's her issue and not mine. I'm going to live my life and the way I want and love whom I want. She's either going to accept that or not." He sounded so strong, but even here in the dark, I could see the vulnerability in his expression. Maybe he really didn't believe the story he was telling me.

"Edward, why are you asking me all this? Are you thinking of coming out to your family?"

He was staring at me with these beautiful wide eyes, full of anticipation. I still couldn't believe that my life had taken me down this path. A year ago, I never would have thought in my wildest dreams that I would be considering coming out to my family now. But looking at Jasper, anything seemed possible. He did that for me. "I'm thinking about it. I'm just not sure what to do or what I'm going to say."

"I think it's awesome that you want to come out to your parents, I really do. But, are you ready? I mean, please don't feel like you have to rush it for me. Edward, I'm in this for the long haul, whatever 'this' turns out to be. Just take your time and do this when you're sure you are ready to face them and deal with whatever the consequences may be."

I couldn't believe it. Jasper was willing keep our relationship in the closet for me. He would wait until I figured this out and told my family on my terms. My heart swelled with so much love I could hardly contain it. I reached over, grabbed his face and kissed him, holding none of my emotions back. I never felt as safe as when I was with him. Deeping our kiss, I rolled us over so I was on top of him and settled myself between his legs, my new favorite place. I pulled back, brushed the damp curls from his face, and just looked at him.

"Thank you, Baby. For everything."

**********

I woke up slowly the next morning, feeling more content and well rested than I had in, well, forever. My body felt relaxed and calm, completely at peace with what had transpired the night before. As I thought back to the amazing experience I had with Jasper just a few hours earlier, I felt his breathing on the back of my neck, his lips grazing me with kisses and making me harder by the second.

"Morning, Baby," he whispered between nibbles. "I've been lying here thinking about you, hoping you'd wake up soon." He continued kissing me, moaning every now and then into my skin. As his tongue made its way across my shoulder, his hand reached around and began stroking my hard cock, which was now fully awake and enjoying the attention.

"Mmmm…Jas, I could get used to waking up like this." I pushed my ass back and felt his hard dick against me. I started slowly grinding against him, our hips moving together. I felt his thumb graze against my head, gathering pre-cum and making us wet as he continued pumping me. I wanted to feel the sensation with him, so I moved my hand down and covered his while we both worked my cock from base to tip.

He pulled his hand away, but I continued slowly stroking myself, keeping up the pace Jasper had set. I heard a condom wrapper open and then felt the cold lube against my skin as he pushed his head toward my entrance. "All I could think about this morning when I woke up was how badly I wanted to be inside you again. Tell me you want that too."

Whimpering back at him, I was overcome by the feeling of him being so close and my own hand wrapped around my pulsing dick. My breathing accelerated as the anticipation of him filling me grew. "Fuck, yes! I want you inside me, right now."

I pulled my knee forward giving him a better angle and more access. He put one hand on my shoulder and used the other to push his dick fully into me. We both moaned loudly as our hips began to move back and forth together. It was slow and languid at first, like a buildup to something explosive. "God, Edward, you feel so amazing. I don't know how to control myself."

"Then don't."

Something primal took a hold of Jasper in that moment. He pulled almost all they way out, so only the tip of his head was left in me, then thrust back in with a force that made me gasp in pleasure. He growled into the skin on my shoulder as he continued thrusting in and out of me, faster and faster. His voice was coming out as breathless growls as his lips clamped down on my skin.

I had never been that sexually excited in my life. Last night was sublime. Making love to Jasper forever changed me and catapulted us to a new level in our relationship. But now, in the first light of the morning, after having the experience that we did, I wanted something primal and animalistic. I wanted him to fuck me, to completely own me. Surprisingly, it was like he knew exactly what I needed in that moment. Maybe he needed it to.

He continued to thrust into me harder and deeper, claiming me as his own. I could tell he was getting close, and my own orgasm wasn't going to be far behind. His chest felt slick with sweat against my back and his breath was hot against my skin. My hand picked up the pace and I began pumping myself faster, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. "Edward…gonna...come…fuck!!" His motions stilled as he came hard, spilling into me. I felt his dick throbbing and I came right after, covering my hand with cum. Jasper slowly started moving in me again, and brought his hand around to cover my own, stroking my dick and milking it for everything it had. He was still breathless as he whispered, "Oh my God. That was just…just…"

"Amazing. Fuck, I know." He pulled out of me and I immediately felt the loss of contact. I lay there, motionless, my breathing returning to normal as he got up and out of bed. He returned a few minutes later with a hot towel and cleaned me up. He was so gentle and loving and I was completely overcome by my feelings for him. He crawled into bed facing me and I kissed him deeply and passionately. "I love you, Jas," I whispered and I settled into chest.

"I love you too, Edward. Always."

* * *

**A/N #2: OK, I hope their pillow talk answered some of your questions about Jasper's family and maybe gave you some insight into him as well. Next chapter is the big Edward/Eric reunion...can't wait!! :) XOXO!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: OK...I know it's been way too long since I've posted anything, and I'm so sorry! Life has been pretty crazy lately! The big news is that I had a baby girl (and future Twilighter) on June 3rd. She's all kinds of awesome and I hope to have her saying "Edward Cullen" very soon. Anyway, as you can imagine, things are pretty busy around here, so that's why I've been MIA lately. But, I'm back on my feet now and hope to fit more writing in during her naps. Thanks so much for sticking with my story and hanging in there with me!****  
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**As always, lots of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie (C-Me-Smile), Michelle, and Rhenea. They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! **

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)**

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The next two days went by quickly; too quickly. Jasper and I spent every moment we could together. When we couldn't be physically together, like when he was working, we texted each other and stayed in constant contact. It was like we were both nervous about what this weekend would bring; he was afraid of losing me to Eric, and I was afraid of losing my best friend. So, we did what we could, and we clung to each other, hoping things would stay the way they were, that we would both be OK.

Jasper got the day off and we spent Friday afternoon in his bed. The sex was almost effortless, as our bodies just moved together like two halves of one whole. We repeatedly brought each other to new heights then back again. It was the best afternoon of my life and I didn't want it to end. But, as he pulled out of me for the last time that day, my head collapsed on the pillow and I noticed the time. I only had an hour until I had to meet my parents so we could go home and I could face Eric.

I pulled Jasper down on top of me and kissed him passionately, hopefully conveying all the love I was feeling. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you."

"Baby, I don't want you to either. But you have to. You have to do this for us so we can move forward. It will be OK."

"Promise?"

"I promise. He'll understand. And, if for some reason he doesn't, you still have me. I'm not going anywhere." He shifted his position and curled up behind me, pulling the covers up so we were cocooned together. I felt so peaceful when we were like this. Even now, when I was a bundle of nerves, he knew how to calm me down and make me feel safe. I loved that about him.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For understanding about this…and for just being you. No matter what happens this weekend, I'm coming back here to you."

* * *

Thankfully, the drive home went quickly. My parents talked endlessly about work and what they had to accomplish over the next day at home. When I couldn't take the shoptalk any longer, I put on my headphones and cued up my iPod to "Water for Elephants," the latest audio book that I downloaded. It helped me tune out the world and, for the two-hour trip, I found myself lost in the story of a depression-era circus. It was the perfect escape from reality, and at that moment, I truly needed it.

But all too quickly, we were pulling into our driveway. I was home. It was time to face the music and do what I came home to do. I got out of the car and begrudgingly headed toward our garage. "I'm headed to Eric's house. Be back later."

"Honestly, Edward, we just got home. Can't this wait for a minute or two?" My mom sounded annoyed, but didn't really try and stop me from leaving. Is it possible that she had an inkling that something was up? Hopefully not, but with my mom, I never really knew what she had up her sleeve.

I didn't feel like answering any questions, so I kept my answer short and to the point. "He's waiting for me. Gotta go. I'll be back soon, though. No worries." With that, I climbed into my silver Volvo, cranked the music, and pulled out of the driveway.

The last time I made this drive to Eric's house, my body was aching and my mind was fuzzy, anticipating what was going to happen and counting the seconds until he was all over me, filling me. This time was different. I still ached, but this time with uncertainty and dread instead of sexual desire. I had no idea what I was going to say or how I was going to handle the situation. He wanted me for the night, wanted me to be his. But, unbeknownst to him, I now belonged to someone new. My heart, body, and soul were Jasper's for as long as he wanted me.

However, Eric was still a vital person in my life. He was my best friend; the one I leaned on, the one I told all my stories too, and the one I trusted with my secrets. Whenever something important happened, his was the number I instinctively dialed. And right now, I was scared to death that he wouldn't accept that our arrangement was over. I have no idea how he knew that I would meet someone, but he did, and as I drove towards his house at a snail's pace, I was having a hard time finding the words to tell him that he was right, that he knew me better than I knew myself.

When I pulled my car up into his driveway, I took a moment to gather my composure before making the slow ascent up the stairs to his door. Once there, I took several deep breaths before ringing the bell. I wished like hell his parents would be home, so we wouldn't have the house to ourselves, but from the looks of things, they were out, and probably for the night.

_Fuck._

As I stood here, my nervousness overtaking me, I heard rushed footsteps coming towards me, and then the door swung open.

There he was.

God, he was beautiful. He winked at me, licked his lips, and pulled me towards him, "Come here, sexy." My breathing caught and for a moment, I felt powerless. When he kissed me, I gave myself up to him and forcefully kissed him back. As our tongues danced together, I moaned and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He tasted so familiar, so deliciously like home.

His hands moved from my hair, down my back, and across the waistline of my jeans. "Fuck, I missed this," he panted into my ear as he unfastened the button and reached for my zipper. As I pulled him even closer, I could feel through his shorts that he was already hard and I was becoming the same. My mind had become hazy and all I knew in that moment was that I wanted him.

"_I think I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you." _

_Jasper!_

_What the fuck was I doing? _

I pulled back suddenly as the situation became clear. This was all wrong. Eric was my past and Jasper was my future, possibly my forever. I couldn't let this happen. "I can't do this."

"Edward, what's wrong? It's been so long and this feels so good." He took my hand and brought it to his dick. It was so hard and ready for me; all I had to do was take it. "Come on, I know you want it too" he purred.

"Wait! I need a second. Um, get me a beer?" I walked passed him and moved toward the sofa, trying to pull myself out of the moment. He looked at me for a second with a quizzical expression, and then made his way to the kitchen. I quickly flopped down onto the soft cushions, turned on the TV, and started channel surfing, desperately trying to find something that would bring my growing erection down.

_Golden Girls! Perfect! There is nothing more deflating than Bea Arthur in a flowing pants suit. A few deep breaths and I should be fine. _

As I sat there zoning in on the four middle-age women in their pajamas, Eric came back carrying two beers, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a shot glass. "Golden Girls? Dude, Betty White is hot! If I were only straight, and like 80", he said with a laugh as he put the bottles on the coffee table and sat on the floor on the opposite side. He was putting much-needed space between us and he had no idea why.

I looked at the bottle of tea-colored liquid in the center of the table, curiously. "What's up, man, we have a date with Jack tonight?"

"Well, considering the fact that we were seconds away from fucking, and now we are essentially on opposites sides of the room while you are watching Lifetime, I'd say we need it. You want to tell me what's going on, or would you feel more comfortable if I trade the Jack in for a cheesecake and a housecoat?" I breathed out a long sigh and looked him in the eye, unable to speak. "C'mon, Edward, " he said as he poured the first shot, put the glass on the table, and pushed it in my direction. "You first."

"Nah, I'm good. I need to be able to drive. I don't want to be stuck here all night. I'll just take the beer. "

"Two weeks ago, you would have loved being _stuck_ here for the night." He emphasized the word "stuck" and for a moment looked as hurt as he sounded. I let out a deeper sigh.

Eric took the shot and downed it, refilling the glass quickly. "So, you gonna tell me what's going on, or are you gonna be a girl and sit here and pout?"

Here it was, time for me to come clean. I reached into my pocket, pulled out my wallet and the crisp $100 bill that was inside, put it on the table and pushed it to him slowly, not making eye contact. When I took my hand away, I slowly looked up to see his expression. It changed from a look of confusion, to a smirk of understanding. "I think this belongs to you."

"Fuck, Edward! You met someone! I knew this would happen!" He grabbed the bill, gave it a kiss, and deposited it in his own wallet. Then, he downed another shot and chased it with the beer. "So, come on, tell me everything."

I took a long pull on my own beer, feeling the cool liquid as it slid down my throat, and then I did just that: I told him everything.

I started off slowly, telling him about how lonely and awkward I was feeling at the beginning of the trip. But quickly, I became more animated when I talked about meeting Jasper for the first time and how amazing he made me feel. Eric just sat there, wide-eyed, hanging on my every word and occasionally taking another shot. "Dude, he just sucked you off without knowing your name? Fuck, that's hot."

"You have no idea!" Soon, I found myself diving into the whole story and not leaving out any detail, no matter how insignificant it may have seemed. I spared nothing, including telling Eric about my first fight with Jasper, about how we almost ended everything, and about how I had to come home to see him.

"Why didn't you call me when things got bad? I could have helped."

After stopping my rant, I looked at him, at the sincerity on his face, and flopped back down on the couch. I was foolish not to trust him. He was my best friend and I owed him that. "I was scared. I didn't know how you'd react to my being with someone else."

Sensing my vulnerability, Eric moved and sat down next to me on the couch. "Edward, I love being with you. I love how easy and natural it is, and how we both know how to push each other's buttons…in the best way." He chuckled, as if remembering something specific. "But honestly, I didn't expect this part of us to last forever. I never thought that it was more than it was."

"So, you're not mad?"

"Fuck, no! You are my best friend and I want you to be happy and find THAT guy. You know, the one you have that forever spark with. And honestly, it sounds to me like you found him."

"I really think I have. And, for what it's worth, I loved being with you too. Our friendship…and everything else…has meant more to me than you know. You were the first person that I was comfortable being myself with. I'm just glad that's not going to change."

"You're stuck with me, pal, so face it."

"Do we have to hug now?"

"Fuck off!" He playfully pushed me down into the pile of pillows, both of us erupting in laughter. After we composed ourselves, he looked at me and asked me the question I was hoping he wouldn't: "So when are you going to tell your family?"

_Shit._

"I don't know. I'm not ready yet."

He rolled his eyes let out a loud annoyed sigh. "What the hell are you waiting for, man? You have the coolest family I've ever known. Fuck, Esme would probably work a booth at Pride and champion the cause herself. I don't get what you could be afraid of. If I had your parents, I'd shout it from the rooftops."

I knew what he was saying was true, but still, I pouted like a child not getting his way. "Well, they're not your parents, they're mine," I huffed. All that was missing was a stomp of my feet and I would be a two-year-old having a grocery store tantrum.

"Edward, stop acting like a brat. If this Jasper means as much to you as you say, then you have to tell your family. Do you really want to continue to live a lie?"

"I'm not living a lie. I'm just not telling the truth." I felt myself shutting down, not being able to handle the conversation. Fuck. If I couldn't work it through with my best friend, I didn't stand a chance with my parents.

"You're an idiot."

"I know. But I've kept this secret for so long, I don't know how to let it out and tell them."

He stood up and threw his arms in the air in complete exasperation. "Oh, you and this precious secret of yours! You're not the only one who ever had to deal with something like this, who had to keep a lid on who and what they are. You have something amazing here, and you're too wrapped up in this secret to realize it. Edward, you have a guy who loves you and a family that thinks you hung the moon. You owe it to yourself and to Jasper to tell them the truth. I mean, seriously, don't you want a normal relationship?"

"Yes, of course I do," I replied sheepishly. He's right about everything. I wanted a real relationship with Jasper more than anything. I wanted to curl up in his lap while sitting in the den with my parents. I wanted to hold his hand as we walked through the mall. I wanted to kiss him goodnight when he dropped me off at my door. I wanted him to spend the night with me and not have to worry about what story we would tell as to why he was in my room and where he slept. I wanted what my parents and Emmett and Rosalie had. I deserved that kind of happiness. But I had no idea how to do it. How do I tell my parents I'm gay and that I'm not what they thought I was? For the first time in my life, I was scared shitless.

"Fuck." I let out the breath I was holding and took one last pull of my beer. "You're right, Eric. I have to tell them."

* * *

After saying a quick "goodnight" to my parents, I made my way up to my second-floor bedroom with one thing on my mind: Jasper. I wanted him badly, but the scariest thing of all was that, in the moment, I _needed_ him. I needed to tell him what happened tonight, that it would all be OK; I needed to hear his voice before I went to sleep; I needed to touch him, to have my arms around him. My body ached for him and needed him to send me into oblivion like only he could.

When I got to my room, I closed the door, shed all of my clothes, and climbed into bed naked and cocooned in the finest down. Esme was big on always having the best linens and tonight they never felt so inviting. I took my phone from the nightstand and sent Jasper a quick text to let him know that I had done what I set out to do.

**It's done…all good. Miss you.**

Not 30 seconds later, my phone was ringing. Amazingly, he knew the same as I did that texting wouldn't be good enough. Not tonight. I answered, already with a smile on my face. "Hey, Baby! How did you know I wanted to talk to you?"

"Just hoping I guess. So, you did what you had to do? Was he OK with everything?" I could sense the trepidation in his voice and surprisingly found it sexy. I'd never made anyone that nervous and unsure before. I liked it.

"Yep, I told him all about you and what has been going on. Then I told him that we couldn't hook up anymore, that what we had was done and he was cool with that. We'll go back to being what we were before, and I'll move on…with you."

"That sounds like a great plan to me." He let out a slow sigh as if he was getting comfortable. I did the same. "So, what are you doing now? Are you home?"

My hand moved down my naked body to my hardening cock and I slowly began to stroke it, bringing it fully to life. I moaned softly into the phone before continuing. "I'm hard, horny, and thinking of you."

I could hear his breath speed up slightly on the other end of the phone and wondered if his hand was unknowingly mimicking my own. God, I hoped it was. "Fuck, me too."

"What are you thinking about? Tell me, Jas, please."

"I'm thinking of how you would feel inside me, fucking me for the first time." He went into great imaginative detail, describing every move, every angle of our bodies, and every feeling he would have with me topping him. Between the movie playing in my mind and the raspy sound of his voice when I could tell he was close, it didn't take long for me to come and get the release I needed. He followed just after.

When we both came down from our high, I said a loving goodbye, told him I missed him, and hung up the phone, completely content. I cleaned myself up and crawled back into bed, pulling the plush comforter up to my chin. God, he was remarkable. Earlier today, I was a bundle of nerves, unsure of what I was doing and what the implications would be. And now, I was falling into a blissful sleep, feeling loved, wanted, and secure.

This must be what real love feels like.

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**A/N #2: I know a lot of you were stressed about the Edward/Eric reunion and how it would go down. Hopefully you liked the way it all played out and how they each handled the situation. Let me know...as always, I love the feedback. You guys are the best! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Lots ****of love goes out to my amazing betas, Christie (C-Me-Smile), Michelle, and Rhenea. They truly make me better and I couldn't go through this process without them! XOXO! **

**Disclaimer: Obviously, SM owns everything Twilight. I am just crushing on these boys and want to hit the beach with them. :)

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I woke up the following morning well rested and excited to start the day. I rolled out of bed, opened the bottom dresser drawer and pulled out the first bathing suit I could find. After getting dressed, I made my way downstairs and into the backyard.

This was my favorite part of the day. Our house was still quiet; either Dad had already gone to work or he and Mom were both still asleep. The sun had been up just long enough to provide some warmth, and the water in the pool was perfectly still. I did my best thinking during my morning swim; it was the perfect time to be alone with my thoughts. No distractions, nothing to pull me in different directions; just me.

I threw my towel on the first lounge chair and made my way to the deep end. Since I didn't have a lot of time, I would just do 100 laps this morning: 50 freestyle and 50 butterfly. That should give me a nice workout without tiring me out too much. After all, I knew Mom wanted me to be at my best today, and my being exhausted wasn't what she had in mind.

I quickly dove in, surrendering my body to the cool water and the silence of being under the surface. I swam the length of the pool under water and came up for air in the shallow end. This was absolutely the best way to wake up in the morning.

_"God, Edward, you feel so amazing. I don't know how to control myself."_

OK, so now this was the SECOND best way to wake up in the morning. It's amazing how that happens, isn't it? One day, you are just going about your life doing all the normal things, and then you meet someone and your mind shifts. Suddenly everything reminds you of him: my parents and I stopping at Chick-Fil-A for a milkshake (Jasper hates Chick-Fil-A but loves McDonalds); hearing _Crawling_ from Linkin Park on the radio (Jasper listens to that CD every morning while getting ready for work); or even putting on my favorite navy blue t-shirt (it's the same color as Jasper's eyes when he's at the brink, just before he comes). These days, my mind was constantly focused on him. Even here in the pool where I was totally alone, Jasper was always with me.

I started swimming slowly, but then picked up the pace about half way through. Not only did I want to stay in shape, but also I needed to be ready for when the season started. The scouts for the Penn swim team would be watching me again this year and I needed to make a good impression. When I finished my 100 laps, I stopped in the shallow end and noticed my mother sitting at our patio table, a stack of magazines in front of her, eating breakfast. I felt invigorated and happy as I wrapped a towel around my waist and took the seat across from her. "How long have you been out here?"

"Not long, maybe about 15 minutes or so. You know how I love it out here first thing in the morning. Plus, I wanted to watch you swim. It's been awhile…you look great!"

"Thanks! I felt a little slow in the beginning, but I was able to pick things up a bit toward the end there. Those croissants look amazing! Did Charlotte make them this morning?"

Mom took a bite and hummed contentedly. "Mmmm…yes, Sir, fresh out of the oven! Edward, hiring Charlotte as our cook was the best idea your father's ever had. These are incredible! I swear, if Carlisle ever leaves me, I'm switching to the other side and marrying her."

"Nice, Mom."

"Don't knock it until you've tried it, Mister! Here, take a bite."

I bit the croissant, savoring the flakey texture and buttery flavor. It was amazing; the woman had a point. "Yep! Good call. Perhaps I should warn Dad about your impending lesbianism?"

"See, I told you! Seriously, if she filled it with chocolate, I'd run away with her today. But enough of this, you need to go get ready. Are your dark jeans clean?"

I swear the woman was always trying to dress me. "Yes, yes," I sighed dramatically and threw in my most over-the-top eye roll.

"Good! Dark jeans, black shirt, black dress shoes, please. Oh, and can you at least try some product in your hair? Really, Edward, you need to do something. It's got a life of it's own!"

"Anything for you, Mom!" I leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek before heading up to my room to get ready.

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Forty-five minutes later, we hopped into Mom's SUV and headed to her shop. About eight years ago, Mom opened _Esme's_, a bridal boutique on the Main Line. It started out small, but quickly expanded, so she recruited my aunts Irina and Jane to help her handle the odds and ends. Aunt Irina ran the floor with Mom, while Aunt Jane managed the accessories boutique. The three of them were a well-oiled machine when it came to the business and before long, _Esme's_ was THE place in Philadelphia to shop for wedding dresses. Women came from all over to find their perfect gown and were always thrilled by the experience.

Dad was exceedingly proud of Mom's mini bridal empire. She dressed all the women in our family, including Rosalie, who went to work there part-time after Alice was born. When I started high school, I also worked there to earn extra cash. I loved going to work with my Mom. I helped her out on the floor making sure the dressing rooms were cleaned and well stocked with anything the future brides might need. I'm sure this job was most guys' version of Hell, but it was perfect for me. Beautiful women filled the place everyday and although I wasn't attracted to them, I loved making them happy; which was so easy to do with a simple smile or just the right compliment.

As we drove to work, Mom was blasting the music and, unfortunately, belting out all the lyrics she knew and making up the ones she didn't. If anyone I knew were up at this hour, it would have been completely embarrassing. You see, my mother loved two things while driving: the Glee playlist on her iPod and the repeat button on her car stereo, which fortunately for her, is located on the steering wheel. This allowed her to torture me with a slight flick of her thumb. Now, don't get me wrong, I like Glee as much as the next woman/gay guy, and yes, I have frequently fantasized about being part of a Puck/Finn sandwich. However, I can only listen to "Don't Stop Believing" so many times before I feel like my head is going to explode.

After about 10 minutes and my mom's second (very loud) rendition of "Faithfully" she turned the volume down and cleared her throat. "Edward, I want to talk to you about next Friday night."

I was still zoning out when I answered her. "Your anniversary dinner, right?"

"Yep! Your father let me choose the place, so I've decided on Buddakan." She pauses like she was treading carefully. I was still not really paying much attention to her as she continued. "I've made the reservations for six people."

"Why? Are Rose and Em bringing Alice? That should be interesting," I said rolling my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I love my niece more than anything, but a toddler in Buddakan is not my idea of fun.

"No, Edward. I thought you could bring Jasper." She subtly glanced at me, gauging my reaction.

Now I was paying attention. "Jasper? Why?"

"Well, you two seem to be spending a lot of time together these days. It seems like he's become a good…friend."

Why did she pause like that? Did it suddenly get hot in here? My cheeks felt flushed, so I reached out to the nearest vent and pointed it directly at my face.

_Calm down, Cullen. There's no way she knows. _

"Yeah, Mom. He's cool to hang out with. It's nice having a friend down there." I'm not sure why I emphasized the word "friend" or even if I'd done it consciously, but I'm quite sure that my mother heard it and that this conversation was on the verge of taking a turn I didn't think I was ready for; or was I?

"Well, I like him. He seems to make you very happy. You deserve someone like that in your life." She glanced over at me again, like she was waiting for a response. I couldn't believe this was happening. It was as if she was opening the proverbial closet door for me. All I had to do was walk through.

_Fuck it. It's time to man-up._

My head was spinning as I finally spoke the words out loud. "Mom…Jasper…he's not just my friend." I sat there motionless, like I forgot to breathe for a moment. I had no idea how she was going to react. Was she going to yell, scream, cry, give me the silent treatment, tell me she was disappointed me? I had no idea. I just tried to be prepared for anything, but the pit in my stomach was growing by leaps and bounds.

She turned to look at me, her eyes sparkling with tears that hadn't fallen yet. Then she smiled and reached out to touch my face. "I know, Sweetheart."

_Wait. What? What just happened? _

My mouth went dry. Everything in my mind suddenly became chaotic and I couldn't think. "You knew? I…" I stammered to get the words out. "How? For how long?"

She shrugged, keeping her eyes on the road. "Well, I never actually knew. But, I've had my suspicions for about six months now." Six months? Great. The secret I have spent so much time and energy protecting was apparently so obvious that it could be seen from space.

_Oh. My. God. _

A tidal wave of nausea suddenly hit. If my mother knew…"What about Dad? Does he know too?" Please say no, please say no, please say no.

"Well, you know your father. He's a little slow to notice these things." I let out a long sigh of relief. I still had time to plan out what I would say to him. "But yes, he started figuring it out this week, when he saw you and Jasper and how you interact with each other."

_Fuck._

Before I could stop it, a loud groan escaped my lips. I slumped over in my seat, trying desperately to wrap my head around this conversation. I was actually out to my mother and, according to her, my father knew as well. I wasn't sure if the weight of the world just lifted off my shoulders, or if everything crashed down suddenly. Yes, I was free to be myself, free to live the life I was meant to, but what if I wouldn't be the same to my family? I had to wonder if my father would treat me differently, like I wasn't the same son he'd always known.

As if sensing my inner panic, my mother smiled and did her best to reassure me. "It's OK, Edward. If and when you are ready to talk, your father and I are here."

I sat there for what felt like a long time before speaking again. And even then, it was barely a whisper. "I never thought I would find anybody," I confessed, almost to myself.

"I always knew you would. And I think now you have." My mother touched my face again, the turned the volume up on the stereo. The conversation was over, and she was back to belting out "Faithfully" for the millionth time. Thirty minutes ago, I was holding in this gigantic secret, wondering when the right time would be to unburden myself. And now, it was out in the open. My mother knew and seemingly understood. I felt so much love and respect for her in that moment that I almost couldn't breathe.

We drove the rest of the way in silence. As we pulled in to the expansive parking lot and I got out of the car, I still felt nervous. Closing the door behind me, I took a minute to look at my mother as she reached for her briefcase in the backseat. She looked so sure of herself, so confident. I wondered if I would ever look like that. "Mom?" She stopped walking so we were facing each other with the hood of the car separating us.

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

I was so nervous to ask her this question, but I had to know the answer. I had to know what she was thinking. "Um, do I look different to you now?"

She looked me up and down and replied, "Yes, you do Edward." I let out the long sigh I was holding and looked at my feet, not wanting her to see the obvious disappointment in my eyes. When I finally looked up, she was smiling. "You look like you actually combed your hair today. Now come on, we have work to do."

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**A/N #2: Special thanks to my BFF (you know who you are, hon) for helping me with this chapter and telling me that it didn't suck. I hope all you guys liked it too. XOXO! :)**


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